Today is me and my lovely hannah's 6th month anniversary together..
I' m so happy for all the moments we share and treasure..
And we wish for more memorable sweets time together..

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Today really is tiring..
I find technofair 2007 is a damn waste of time..
If you dont know what is technofair,
It is my final year project display for NP's open house..
All the final year students in my course have to display em..

But its just plain idiotic to explain time and time again to different people what my project is about.. But its just that, its irritating after explaining, they nod their round-spectacle on their head and move to the next display..

Its not that I am not proud of what i've done, but its just unnecessary and not worthy at all..
and lately, since my schooling days are numbered before graduation, my workload and deadlines are getting in all over my head.. I just have so much to do and I need to rush so much that it just keeps me feeling tired and tiredness is what i least like when i get home..

My work just doesnt end at school.. Since my parents are working, I have a whole lot of housechores and I've to be a part-time parent of taking care of my younger siblings.. Its just a lil frustrating if i have to be the one to know where they are if they are not at home.. My parents would call and ask me where they are.. Its not like my sibs each dont have handphone.. they do, but still i am the one to answer where they are.. and if they are not at home, i'm partly to be blamed.. And each time i come home, i have to do the laundry, the dishes, the cleanin of the kitchen, heat up mum's cooking, make the living room presentable before my dad reaches home.. it maybe sounds easy for some of you, but i have a lot to do.. Sometimes, i cant find peace at anywhere in my daily routine where i can feel appreciated or just someone asking me 'how am i feeling' or a simple gesture like 'thank you'.. each time anything goes wrong at home, i am to be blame for not doing my obligations.. I hate to be pressured all day long.. pressure from school.. pressure after school .. all day. i'm tired too you know..

I want some peace where i can sit down and relax myself after a long day at school, share my house chores with my 3 other siblings.. play video game.. talk to my girlfriend.. watch tv.. you know.. just have my own time to kick out the stress and tiredness to feel rejuvenated and fresh..

I hate to always have to BE perfect..
I am not perfect..
I am a human..
I can feel tired..
I can feel angry..
I can feel the pain of people's words..
I never did say any mean things directly to anybody to make them feel hurt or provoked..
and i mean NEVER..
if i had, please give me an example..
I know what are the kind of words that just can hurt someone..
even the simplest of words..
I can make mistakes, even small ones..
and..
I am a person who always apologise when i make my mistakes..
So if anyone feels i always say 'i am sorry'..
Its because i really am sorry and i'll not do it again..
isnt it the right thing to do that is to apologise if i make any mistake?
i really mean my apologies..
i dont want to be egoistic to always think i am right and anyone else is wrong..
i know no one is always right..
i hate to be angry or sad..
i dont like mean words to or from anyone..
i respect people whom i care and love..
i dislike violence..
I rarely get angry and if i do, it means i'm really upset..
i dont like scoldings..
i dont feel the pleasure of seeing anyone hurt..
i always want to be a nice person..
but if i dont feel appreciated to be that kind of person..
and people just wants more and more and more out of me so quick..
I can get upset and i will feel the tiredness..
I dont want to be someone i am not..
I suck at hiding things and telling a lie..
bcuz its just not me..
i love my girlfriend and my family so much..
i love my friends..
They are what matters to me..
I love to be the person anyone would feel happy with my presence..
most of all, I love to be appreciated..



maybe after reading this, you may think that i am whiny.. or maybe you are in same boat as me.. or maybe you should treat others better.. or treasure people around you.. and if they make mistakes and apologise.. appreciate that.. and appreciate them.. that means they care abt your feelings.. talk things out rather than shout and scold.. that just makes things worse.. dont say mean things even when you're angry.. it hurts.. hurting someone isnt fun.. how would you feel if you are hurt intentionally? appreciate yourself..

let me end my rants..
goodnite..

I love you Hannah.. Happy 6th month anniversary baby..