RockoHallo!!

Angels Cry

2007-02-05T10:36:00.000+08:00

Well it's hard to explain
but I'll try if you let me
Well its hard to sustain
I'll cry if you let me
This doesn't change the way I feel about you or your place in my life
Please don't cry
Can't you see I'm dying here?
A shot of broken heart that is chased with fear

My heart burns through
My chest to the floor
Tearing me silently although abruptly
Words cant hide as I'm taking you home
And I tried to see
Tried to understand your words as I'm taking you home

Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

I just want to be with you..
I love you..
Through moments of hardship..
I learn about you..
Your eyes sparkle like a star..
With happiness I bring you..
Take us a step closer..
I've seek myself to understand..
There's no one in my life that's like you..
I love you..

Hannah

2007-01-30T10:29:00.000+08:00

Stop smoking wasn't an easy thing to do.. sometimes everwhere i go their offers for ciggies fly around my ear.. Well, maybe for the none smokers saying 'no' is an easy answer.. But for former smokers, its not as easy like it seems.. But to prove my worth and my words to her and for the good of myself.. Saying 'no'to another stick is all worthwhile..

I've conquered more of myself and the determination in me wasn't this strong if i were 2 or 3 years ago.. I realise that I always give up on myself easily without a fight to most of the problems I face.. instead of foul-mouth about it, i take those problems as challenges to grow up to be a man.. I'm leaving the 'teen' world very soon and if i don't improve my maturity, it'll not go easy for me in the future.. Its not easy if a lot of pressure comes at the same time, however having her behind me putting in hope and support in me means everything.. And to prove myself and how strong i am to her and the good of myself.. Facing the pressure and the problems are all worthwhile..

Getting respect from others is not easy this days.. Sometimes people forget the respect to elders and to people around them.. Human nowadays do things sometimes not from sincerity but for something in return.. But i am lucky, the people who gave me shelter and food and watch me grow up have respect for each other and a built understanding.. And i am not just lucky, i am blessed with a girl that shares with me her life and moments together with me.. I feel the respect from her and she has gained the utmost respect from me for being a wonderful lady in my life.. I've made a lot of promises to her and i'll keep those promises like my life is depending on them.. All of my words to her are honest and doing it is all worthwhile..

Me and lovely Hannah

At a board games cafe

Me and lovely Hannah

Going to dinner

Me and lovely Hannah

Having dinner at Lau Pa Sat

The weekends was fun and we had a whole day of laughter and craziness.. like me walking with bended knees so lovely Hannah don't have to look up talking to me, walking like that all they way to the toilet.. Challenging each other who can open up the cockles first.. Playing board games and i am starting to like scrabble already.. hehe..

I appreciate technology so much now cuz i get to webcam with lovely Hannah at home or at her workplace.. and calling her is free now since i start using skype to talk to her.. all free! hehe.. And like right here.. I can tell everyone how wonderful are my days and sharing the day with her means all..

For my lovely Hannah,

Alfian

Ps. I made a joke that went overboard and i never ever mean it and I am really really sorry to have made that joke.. I thought it was a funny one but then after i said it, it is not funny at all.. I am sorry Hannah.. I promise not to do it again..

13 goals..

2007-01-21T21:59:00.000+08:00

This weekend is superbly awesome..

Me and lovely hannah went to Bugis for shopping and watch Gridiron movie.. Saturday was awesome.. I bought her a belt and a watch and she bought me a watch too!! hehe.. woohoo!!

Sunday, we went to Bali thai to have our lunch and the food was awesome! superb! we ate a lot and tried different types of dishes.. then we went to holland v to shop for a lil bit.. Hannah bought this lovely pink book.. i love it too! hehe.. unfortunately, we have to rush because i'm going to play soccer with my friends.. i was so happy that she came along and watch me play.. Thank you baby! I scored an amazing 13 goals in the st soccer court and played rounds and rounds of excellent goals.. i am seriously needing to brag about my goals.. I scored 13 wonderful goals.. volleys, side-foots, hard-strike.. you name it.. i did it.. i was disappointed not to use my head to score.. hehe.. but having hannah to watch me play is such an honour for me.. hehe.. wooohoo.. she's so lovely..

My ever sweet..

mInd

2007-01-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

Today is me and my lovely hannah's 6th month anniversary together..
I' m so happy for all the moments we share and treasure..
And we wish for more memorable sweets time together..

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today really is tiring..
I find technofair 2007 is a damn waste of time..
If you dont know what is technofair,
It is my final year project display for NP's open house..
All the final year students in my course have to display em..

But its just plain idiotic to explain time and time again to different people what my project is about.. But its just that, its irritating after explaining, they nod their round-spectacle on their head and move to the next display..

Its not that I am not proud of what i've done, but its just unnecessary and not worthy at all..
and lately, since my schooling days are numbered before graduation, my workload and deadlines are getting in all over my head.. I just have so much to do and I need to rush so much that it just keeps me feeling tired and tiredness is what i least like when i get home..

My work just doesnt end at school.. Since my parents are working, I have a whole lot of housechores and I've to be a part-time parent of taking care of my younger siblings.. Its just a lil frustrating if i have to be the one to know where they are if they are not at home.. My parents would call and ask me where they are.. Its not like my sibs each dont have handphone.. they do, but still i am the one to answer where they are.. and if they are not at home, i'm partly to be blamed.. And each time i come home, i have to do the laundry, the dishes, the cleanin of the kitchen, heat up mum's cooking, make the living room presentable before my dad reaches home.. it maybe sounds easy for some of you, but i have a lot to do.. Sometimes, i cant find peace at anywhere in my daily routine where i can feel appreciated or just someone asking me 'how am i feeling' or a simple gesture like 'thank you'.. each time anything goes wrong at home, i am to be blame for not doing my obligations.. I hate to be pressured all day long.. pressure from school.. pressure after school .. all day. i'm tired too you know..

I want some peace where i can sit down and relax myself after a long day at school, share my house chores with my 3 other siblings.. play video game.. talk to my girlfriend.. watch tv.. you know.. just have my own time to kick out the stress and tiredness to feel rejuvenated and fresh..

I hate to always have to BE perfect..
I am not perfect..
I am a human..
I can feel tired..
I can feel angry..
I can feel the pain of people's words..
I never did say any mean things directly to anybody to make them feel hurt or provoked..
and i mean NEVER..
if i had, please give me an example..
I know what are the kind of words that just can hurt someone..
even the simplest of words..
I can make mistakes, even small ones..
and..
I am a person who always apologise when i make my mistakes..
So if anyone feels i always say 'i am sorry'..
Its because i really am sorry and i'll not do it again..
isnt it the right thing to do that is to apologise if i make any mistake?
i really mean my apologies..
i dont want to be egoistic to always think i am right and anyone else is wrong..
i know no one is always right..
i hate to be angry or sad..
i dont like mean words to or from anyone..
i respect people whom i care and love..
i dislike violence..
I rarely get angry and if i do, it means i'm really upset..
i dont like scoldings..
i dont feel the pleasure of seeing anyone hurt..
i always want to be a nice person..
but if i dont feel appreciated to be that kind of person..
and people just wants more and more and more out of me so quick..
I can get upset and i will feel the tiredness..
I dont want to be someone i am not..
I suck at hiding things and telling a lie..
bcuz its just not me..
i love my girlfriend and my family so much..
i love my friends..
They are what matters to me..
I love to be the person anyone would feel happy with my presence..
most of all, I love to be appreciated..

maybe after reading this, you may think that i am whiny.. or maybe you are in same boat as me.. or maybe you should treat others better.. or treasure people around you.. and if they make mistakes and apologise.. appreciate that.. and appreciate them.. that means they care abt your feelings.. talk things out rather than shout and scold.. that just makes things worse.. dont say mean things even when you're angry.. it hurts.. hurting someone isnt fun.. how would you feel if you are hurt intentionally? appreciate yourself..

let me end my rants..
goodnite..

I love you Hannah.. Happy 6th month anniversary baby..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007

2007-01-04T21:21:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Happy New Year to everybody reading this.. to those who is not reading this.. no Happy New Year for you..

Secondly, this is officially my first post for the year 2007.. but i am still 19 you know.. i just turned 19 two months ago..

Thirdly, I count down with my lovely Hannah just the 2 of us.. aint that awesome.. She's the first girl to ever countdown with me! hehe..

Fourthly, I want to wish my family and friends and Hannah's family and friends a happy new year.. May all your wishes come true and bright year for y'all..

Fifthly, to those bummers who havent get anything started in life, take this year to do something in your life..

Sixthly, i need new hair cut..

Seventhly, i am turning 20 this year.. but i am going to propose a new age which "Twenteen".. how bout that huh.. Who supports me.. tag at my blog!!

hehe..

So, I've had 2006 as a history for me which a lot of events happened to me.. I grew stronger and mature past 2006 and ready for new challenges in 2007..

My month of december is awesome cause me and lovely Hannah did a lot of things together..

-We went bowling..
-We had a bbq along with lovely Hannah's family and friends..
-We countdown together as East Coast Park..
-We watched lotsa and lotsa movies..
-We had our 5th month anniversary and counting..
-We still love each other strong and whole-heartedly from the first time we kissed each other..

WOOHOOO!! hehe.. i totally like the last one..

2006-12-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

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Hopes and Dreams

2006-12-21T12:06:00.000+08:00

Everyone can change, if they're given a chance..
So give me the chance to change for the better..
You know I won't disappoint when i promised i would change..

Its a comfort to wake up every morning and think of you and know that you're mine..
Its a comfort to sleep every night and think of you and know you're cuddling your pillow comfortably sleeping..

I make mistakes and so does other people..
But the difference is, I always learn my mistakes and never do it again..
I won't disappoint..
I promise..

All the mistakes are never intentional..
And you know i never want to hurt you..
Disappointments are to tell us that you have hope in that person..
But if that person is learning and I assure you one day, you'll never get disappointed anymore..
Please dont stop putting hope in me..
I live with that hope..
I breathe with that hope..
Please forgive me for all my mistakes..
I never will repeat those mistakes..
You know i always want to be the best..
The best for you and me..

Our hopes and dreams are the same..
And dreams and hopes will come true if we are given the opportunity to strive for it..

I love you Hannah..

Give me the chance to change,
And I wont disappoint you..
One day and never again,
I'll disappoint you..
You know how much my feelings are for you..
I cant live without you being with me..
My hopes and dreams are with you..
I love you..

With sincere and truth,
Alfian

Hannah: My deepest love

2006-12-20T05:03:00.000+08:00

I remember the time and the place,
With love so sudden and so sweet.
Her face blooms like a sweet flower,
And stole my heart away complete.

My eyes wouldn't turn away..
My legs refused to walk away..
And she looked with blushes on her face..
Everything happened when time seemed to stay place..

Ears listen to my heartbeat..
Blood rushing through my veins..
Seemed night is so beautiful..
Like clouds in between my knees..

I could not feel anything else..
Then what it already feels..
In courage with words..
They spoke chords from love it is..

Are words the better choice
Are actions better to show..
She seems to hear my silent voice..
And love has always been known..

I never saw so sweet a girl..
As that i Stood before..
My heart has left for that only place..
And can return no more..

I love you Hannah..

Hannah

2006-12-12T11:14:00.000+08:00

She means everything my heart will ever be..

Hannah

2006-12-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

There's never a day i won't wish you good nite..
There's never an hour i won't pray for you..
There's never a minute i won't think of you..
There's never a second i won't love you..

If miracle happens once in a lifetime..
You are my miracle..
Hannah..
----------------------------------------------------------
Sadness happens once in a while to let us remember that we are happy most of the time..
Anger happens once in a while to let us remember that no one is perfect in the world..

Then..

There comes the word ,understanding..
That never in the world that someone is happy forever, but happy most of the time..
That every unhappiness we face is to make us realise who we are and realise how happy we are most other times..
We are imperfect..
But when you see perfection in someone, you're in love..

Love is feelings..
Feelings of happy,sad,angry..
Love has all of them..

When we face sadness and anger when we're in love..
It tells us not to take the happiness for granted and treasure the person we love..

Have a nice day,
Alfian

2006-12-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

a kiss for my baby..

Its been so long since i get to go out with my lovely Hannah on both weekends that is Saturday and Sunday.. and we had a lot of fun!

-She watched me play soccer..

-We had breakfast at McDondalds..

-We watch a movie in both days..

-We played bowling..

-We ate at pizza hut..

-We walk and hold hands..(Its the best!)

hehe..

I bought for her a suprise present.. just for the thought of getting her something.. hehe..

I hope she likes it very much..

I also passed her a beautiful book i wrote everynite of what i feel while she was away the previous weekend and it has my thoughts, my poems, drawings and my feelings inside..

We're going out again next weekend and i'm looking forward to it!

All my love for Hannah,

Alfian

My Life Story

2006-11-20T03:51:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep..
So i've decided to tell the world about my life..
and all the positive feelings i have..
just the positive at the moment right now..

First of all, I wanna tell you people how awesome my birthday this year really was..
I got a hugey 19 presents for being 19 years old this year!! isnt that great!! hehe..

And its all because of My lovely Hannah..
And if you all still don't know how gorgeous she looks like..
Here's a picture of her!

Gorgeous isnt she? hehe..
She's not only gorgeous, but she's super nice and kind-hearted..
She's my everything!

If you guys are wondering what are the 19 presents, let me take you to this wonderful tour..

This scrapbook she sweetly made for me contains all the details that only I CAN READ.. muahaha..

1st present..

A box of chocolates.. and i mean a hugey box of chocolates!!
and there's one more full of cadbury bars.. awesome!
how did she know i love chocolates?

2nd present..

A lunch treat at Sake Sushi!!
She's officially the girl who introduced to me the world of Sushi's.. hehe..
She's japanese to me.. hehe..

3rd present..

Don't look at me..
Look at the cake i am eating..
Its supernice and it has 3 flavours..
Strawberry,Vanilla and CHOCOLATE!!

4th present..

We went to Topman..
Instead of a shirt..
She got me a green jacket..
Which she loves a lot..
And i love it too!

5th present..

A book of lovely Hannah's favourite love quotes..
I never fail to read em' before i go to bed!

6th to 18th present..

A My Chemical Romance cd.. 13 songs!
She knows i love the band..
She knows a lot of what i like huh..
I bring it to school everyday!

19th present..
I love this one the most..
The best for the last!

Her Heart..
Its the best gift you could give me baby..
I love you so much for that..

If I could cut my chest and put it inside, I will do it..
And you know my heart is with you and only you sweetheart..

And this year's Hari Raya is totally magnificent!
We had one whole day together raya-ing with my secondary school friends..

US

I like her baju melayu! woohoo!
It's our first raya together and i hope there'll be more to come! lots more!
We went to all my secondary school friends house..
And when we reached my house, i gave lovely Hannah a sweet suprise.. hehe..
Only she knows it and let it be that way forever baby..

This is my lovely Hannah and me!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweetheart..
I know we've been through hard times that we wish it wouldn't happen..
I know sometimes our emotions get the better of us..
But I know I never want to hurt you..
I never want you to feel other than happiness..
I'll always be there for you in times when things aren't the best it could be..
I'll never get tired of being there for you..
I'll never give up holding your hand through hard times..

And baby..
I know I'm always late and not being on time..
I know I always said 'sorry' everytime..
One too many..
I've realised it now..
It's not a good habit to keep..
So let the world be a witness to this..
I'll promise you that I'll never be late again..
I'll always reach 10 mins before time..
I know you're tired of me always apologising for things I would do it again..
And let this be the last sorry that i said to you for being late..
I'm sorry for always being late Hannah..
you know baby i'll always keep my promise..
Give me a chance to change for the better and for you..
I'll prove it to you and let the world be the witness..

Darling,
I won't say sorry anymore if i never learn my mistake and never change..
I know you're tired of my excuses and explanations..
I wont make you feel tired anymore..
I'll do whatever to keep my promise..
I swear..

Hannah my Love,
I want you to know I appreciate those things you've done for me
And I hope that will never stop..
I want you to know I'll always be there for you..
And I'll never get tired of it..
I want you to know I respect you..
Cuz you deserve to be respected for the kind of heart you have baby..
I want you to know I never want you to be sad or angry..
And I want you to bring you happiness that you've never felt before..
I want you to know I've never been angry at you..
Cuz you're so perfect to me..
I want you to know all your tears and mine..
I used it to wash away all our sorrows so we can be happy together..
I want you to know I have never been so in love with anyone..
And you're that special girl i am greatly in love with..

I love you Hannah..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So as you all can see..
My life is all about a girl I am truely in love with..
Hannah..
There's no better life than living with my lovely Hannah..
I swear to God..

Thats what my life is all about..
And I want to be with her for the rest of my life..
Be it theres hard times to come for us or wonderful time together..
I'll gladly go through it..
Just so i can be with her forever..
She means my life and my heart..
And I love her like no other love in this world..

I love you Hannah..
Forever and Ever baby..

2006-11-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

A day without a voice, a word.. is just very very hard and painful..

I need you baby.. I really need you..

He who..

2006-11-01T11:01:00.000+08:00

He who does things with no apathy..
He who only see her beauty deep inside her..
He who gives his ears and voice whenever she needs it..
He who bring the warmth that she deserves..
He who has her name at his every breath..
He who remembers everything she likes..
He who cherishes her thoughts and feelings more than his..
He who even holding her hand means so much..
He who wants to be the meaning of happiness to her..
He who accepts his mistakes with apology and say sorry to her..
He who promises to her means all his honesty..
He who takes her flaws with his helping hands..
He who sings to her request..
He who does anything to speak to her..
He who makes jokes just to make her laugh..
He who writes about her whenever he misses her..
He who brings out her dream to make it a reality..
He who prays for her safety and the best for her..
He who never forgets every smile of her..
He who hugs her so she can hear his heartbeat..
He who kisses her to show his passion to her..
He who finds her hand whenever he is with her..
He who always want to have her everytime even in his dreams..
He who being nice to her is the best thing to make her happy..
He who lets her open any door in his heart..
He who cries when her tears roll down..
He who always do things that she loves..
He who always love her with all his heart and never question it..
He who believes she's everything to him..

But...
If i die..
Will there be another like him?

2006-10-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!!

hehe..

So things are good for us now and we're made some rough plans for.. HARI RAYA!! heehe..

Well, i think we need a special day together.. just spending time and having a good time and forget the problems from work or school.. we just want to have a good romantic time just with each other..

I'm not me when there's no you..

2006-10-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

When you're in love,

There's no better seat..
Than sitting next to her..

There's no better sky..
Than watching the sunset and the stars with her..

There's no better photo..
Than the one both of you smiling happily in it..

There's no better day..
Than the day you spent it with her..

There's no better night..
Than the night you wish each other good night..

There's no better sleep..
Than having her photo under my pillow..

There's no better kiss..
Than the kiss from her lips..

There's no better walk..
Than walking and holding hands with her..

There's no better movie..
Than the one you cried along with her..

There's no better song..
Than the song she loves to hear you sing..

There's no better love..
Than the one I am having with her..

There's no better girl..
Than the girl I am so in love with now..

There's no one in my heart..
Only the girl named Hannah..

I know because I am.. in Love..
With my lovely Nurul Hannah..

2006-10-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

I went to Sentosa the past week before Ramadhan with my sweetheart, Hannah.. It was one of the memorable days of my life.. We sat down by the beach.. swam.. lie down beside each other and talk.. and after that i rounded the nite at the top of the tower at palawan beach hugging my darling and have a say out of my heart..

Dalam hidupku,

Ada sebuah cinta..

Dalam cinta itu,

Ada kisah cinta..

Cinta yang nan indah,

Tiada bandingannya..

Dalam cintaku,

Ada terukir namamu..

Nama yang selalu terbayang dalam diriku..

Dirimu selalu berada di dalam doaku..

Siang dan malam ku merinduimu..

Mungkin erti cinta tidak kau mengerti..

Kehadiran diriku di dalam dirimu ..

Supaya dapat kau rasakan cinta,

Tanpa tahu pengertiannya..

Ku juga tidak tahu ertinya cinta..

Tapi keindahan dirimu,

Adalah segalanya untukku..

Kau memberi makna kepada cinta..

Makna yang tidak dapat dibina dengan perkataan..

Wahai yang teristimewa,Kaulah segalanya..

Kekasihku yang bernama,

Nurul Hannah..

On the way to Sentosa..

A couple of days ago, we went to Seoul Garden for Buka Puasa.. Me, Hannah, Huda and Mus.. Hehe, it was lotsa fun when we were there cuz we laughed a lot and ate a lot too, of course.. hehe.. I just love spending the day with my darling Hannah.. She never fails to make my day..

Us at the bus stop waiting for the bus.. nice huh..

At Seoul Garden..

I'm having my holidays now.. I'm gonna start work somewhere soon.. And for the rest of the time.. I'll find every opportunity to meet my sweetheart anytime, anyday.. hehe..

I love you Hannah..

2006-09-14T12:48:00.000+08:00

--DATE WITH MY LOVELY HANNAH--

There's a secret I wanna tell everybody.. I have been keeping this secret to myself since the first date with lovely Hannah..

My heart beats faster and faster each time she is closer to me..

No words can be said every moment i look into her eyes..

Her hug gives me the warmth I've never felt ever in my life..

I love to joke because I am addicted to her sweet giggle..

Everytime I spend the whole day with her.. My night sleep will be very nice and comforting.. And I am always counting down to the day I'm gonna meet her again.. Seriously!

Fireworks - She's the first girl to watch the fireworks with me

ICE SKATE - She's the first girl to go ice skating with me

WOMAD 2006 - She's the first girl to go WOMAD with me

BUGIS SHOPPING - She's the first girl to go shopping with me at Bugis

DINNER - She's the first girl to go dinner at CCK park with me

SNOW CAP - She's the first girl to share money and buy a snow cap with me

HEHE.. That's all the pictures you people can view.. I'm just happy to keep the rest of em close to my heart.. And last but not least..

She's the first ever girl to make me feel like this, I think no other can..

===============================

2006-09-11T15:15:00.000+08:00

Hello world! hehe..

So, my head is slightly lighter than usual.. hehe.. cuz i cut my hair already..
I got a mix reception abt it.. hehe.. my mum likes it.. the boys are upset i cut my hair bcuz they think its cool.. but as long as my lovely girlfriend loves it.. i love it too! hehe..

I've been much involving myself with dikir barat for my school.. my first ever dikir barat performance.. on the 15th of September.. hehe.. going to put on make up.. i mean have to.. hehe.. but anyways.. nothing is as good as Hannah coming to watch me.. its much better to have her watching me rather than 1,000 other ppl.. hehe..

I've made an end-year resolution.. not to be late and be on time each time have to meet.. hehe.. Somebody have posted what she did while waiting for me to arrive.. that's kinda embarrassing.. but its my fault to have been late.. hehe.. but i'll try my very extreme best to not be late.. its not easy being a Superhero you know.. just ask Spiderman.. he's always late too.. muahaha..

I wanna play more soccer and get fit before Napfa test.. I wanna get a GOLD.. its a must.. A MUST!! hehe..

I cant wait for Friday.. till then..

Adios Amigos..--->(for my friends..)

Muahhh!!!! --->(only for Hannah..)

2006-08-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

I've never felt useless like this ever before..
I can't take away the grief, people around me feel..
I felt I couldn't breathe..
I felt my mind was going to explode..
I thought I'm losing myself if not my mind..
I can't keep hold of myself..
I thought for a moment..
Everybody's gone..
And I am all alone..
And I'm going to die..
Please don't go away..
I'm sorry Mum..
I'm sorry Bro..
I'm sorry Ana..
Please..

2006-08-25T10:54:00.000+08:00

I light a matchstick out from the millions..
To light up the darkness..
To take you out of a dungeon no one knows the way anywhere..
But I trust my deep-self that I can take you out..
I need you to hold my hand always so that I know you're with me..
So hold my hand and don't let go..
I know its not gonna be easy to walk through the dirt and dust..
But I promise you..
We'll get out safe, as long as you don't let go of my hand..
Its dying if we stay in the dungeon..
Too dark.. Too tight.. Too painful..
I'll take you out I promise..
And when we get out..
Its gonna be the happiest time of my life..
I got you safe with me..
That matters the most..

2006-08-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

HOW UNFAIR THE WORLD IS..
BECAUSE TEN GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPEN CAN BE DESTROYED WITH ONE BAD THING AFTER THAT..

BUT..

TO ME.. THE WORLD IS FAIR..
BECAUSE I HAVE YOU.. IN MY LIFE..

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I LOVE YOU, HANNAH..

I WISH TO EVERY STAR I SEE..

TO BRIGHTEN THE DARK SKY FOR YOU EVERYNITE..

2006-08-07T08:52:00.000+08:00

SHE'S MINE
I'M HERS
WE'RE EACH OTHERS'

2006-07-21T00:59:00.000+08:00

I walked with my hands tied behind and my eyes covered..
I took the path forward..
But unaware of the dangers that awaits me..
I followed my emotions and I walked quickly..
I should've taken one step at a time..
I tripped on my own leg..
Unable to pick myself up..

But you were there to lift me up..
You came and helped me back on my feet..
But i need you..
To be with me so that I wont fall again..
I really need you..

2006-07-12T11:00:00.000+08:00

10 things i wanna do in Life:

1. Go to Disneyland and kick Mickey Mouse's butt..
2. Throw paperball directly to my lecturer's head when he's talking to me..
3. Join the Army and happily shoot at the sky with any gun I hold..
4. Run and dodge all cars at the expressway..
5. Auction my briefs on the internet..
6. Go back to High School when I am 30 years old..
7. Be in 'Men's Health' magazine..
8. Act as a villain in the James Bond movie sequel.
9. Be the most controversial malay rapper..
Last but not least..
10. I want to get married to the girl I really love..

2006-06-29T04:28:00.000+08:00

To the girl I am watching Superman with..

Things have been perfectly well since the time i got to know you..
My days have been empty till you came..
I couldn't stop thinking about the evenings and looking forward to em..
Everynite i want to talk to you..
Eventhough sometimes I dont know what to reply you..
And I think of what to say next..
Bcuz the feeling of just wanting to talk to you is so overwhelming..
Just the thought of you gives me motivation and a breath of fresh air..
The days I count till it comes down to the day i am going to meet you..
Thinking of ways I can impress you..
I just couldnt forget the first giggle you gave me..
It keeps playing back in my mind and with a smile each time i think of it..
You've always brighten up my days..

But today, I know I have disappoint you..
I am disappointed with myself more than ever..
I should've kept my mind shut..
Stupid things I'm curious about..
I could've forget abt it when the days past..
I didn't mean to hurt you.. and didn't mean to make you sad..
I wish I could take it all back and change my history like you wish you could've done..
I know its impossible..
And I should've just take that, things happened.. when you least expect..
I've hurt you and made you feel you've done something wrong..
Its not you.. I never blamed you..
I care about you..
But the things I've said doesnt help that..
But I really care about you..
I'm really sorry Ana..
I'm wiping tears from my eyes as I write this..
You're the most beautiful thing that has happened to me by years..
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Written by a jerk who doesn't deserve to be forgiven..

Never would I want to hear the sound of you walking away..

2006-06-17T03:56:00.000+08:00

first and foremost.. tag replies!!

To Zira: haha.. nothing special abt the previous post.. hehe.. hope tp see you in school when school reopens!
to Yoos: hopeless romantic.. hehe.. hopeless eh.. more of hopefully i can be romantic.. hehe..
to Syahidah: hehe.. junior in band huh.. one year je in band.. after that i quit.. for some reason..
to Ninie: thanks for the thumbs up!
to my-so-beloved-cousin: hehe.. i can teach the boys in your school to be that way.. but that comes with charges.. $$$$.. hehehe..
to Nana: haha.. you want a dude like that?

Its my first time i overduedly reply to your tags over in my post.. hehe.. If i reply there.. It'll all be tags with my name.. it will look funny..

And finally, World Cup is undergoing its Journey.. and Spain have done me proud.. Fernando Torres.. hmm.. He reminds me of the dude i see when i stand in front of the mirror.. hehehehe.. and who dares disagree??!! hehe.. For this blessed month of Football.. ladies, on the behalf of men.. I'm sorry to tell that football is 1st on the list and followed by you.. Just for this month.. please forgive us.. haha.. and for men who disagrees me on this.. please declare yourself as a woman till the World Cup ends..

and for the week, i have a bit of a story to tell..

As usual, my bus ride have had been exciting.. Sitting behind a boy whom i think is talking to a girlfriend.. I really dun mean to eavesdrop over their conversation.. i just naturally refuse to put on my earphones and listen to music instead.. hehe.. So yeah, he was talking.. Sayang here, sayang there.. giggle here, giggle there.. till come this moment.. he said "You.. Trust me, i never looked at any other girl except you.. betul.." and at the bloodily same time.. this hot malay girl board the bus.. and that same i-never-look-at-other-girl dude turned his head watching her walk to the back!! And suddenly, i laughed to myself.. to avoid embarrassment, i put my handphone to my ear.. I really pity that girl he is talking to.. how ironic..

A joke i want to share, played ard in my mind when I was bored.. I dont know whether its funny or not.. but here goes..

Scene: At pasar malam.. Man walk up to stall..
Woman(seller): Hemsen.. buy leh..
Man(buyer):How much?
Woman: 3 dollars oni..
Man:From far.. I come.. face give me leh..
Woman: Ok.. I give you offer..Cheap cheap.. buy lah.. 2.50 oni.. cheeaapp.. buy lah.. Good offer.. I give face one.. dun worry..

-Not all may understand it.. boys might understand.. its a dirty joke.. hehehe.. I appreciate if you dont judge

hehe.. thats all for now..

2006-06-06T20:46:00.000+08:00

To the ladies:

Have you ever wished for an old-school dude, whom would ask you out on a movie on the first date.. Who would sing for you, eventhough he know he can't sing, just to let you know how he feels about you.. Who would buy for you roses eventhough its cliche, bcuz for him, valentines' day is a special day to give flowers to you.. Who would smile for the whole day bcuz he got to hold your hand while walking together.. Who would go out for the whole day to find a perfect present and buy for you chocolates for your birthday.. Whom would wait for you at your carpark after sending you home, hoping you would see out the window so that he can give you a flying kiss goodnight.. And all those things you ever wished modern days dude would do for you.. Have you ever wished?

Well, you are reading the blog of one of those old-school dudes that are still around today.. haha..

I've got over one of the CT papers i have to sit for.. Well, it wasn't that good and it wasn't that bad.. To have a positive look at it, I completed it with whatever I can write on it.. hehe.. and the rest is up to my luck.. Yesterday, is one of the unforgettable day of my life.. I got boo-ed by SP soccer players and received my 2nd yellowcard since the day I started playing soccer for a bad tackle.. But, i feel the triumph of being hated by SP students just bcuz I am from NP.. Tensed rivalry between us i suppose.. I have to be honest, I did thought of being red-carded when it is the 89th minute.. but I practice beautiful football.. A gentleman on the pitch.. hehe.. Riiigghhtt..

I have more to write, maybe on the next update.. I am off to clean up my room!!( and when is the last time you ever heard a boy who cleans up his room) hehe.. Good nite everybody!

2006-05-28T18:49:00.000+08:00

Hoorahh! Yesterday was awesome.. I won the prelimary rounds, it was just a match though.. After that we went for our normal weekly routines, playing soccer at our homeground.. And I scored 7 goals but with the cost of my shoes, that's torn and a broken toe nail.. Damn it.. I have to get new shoes before next week..

So chalet was quite mundane, watching DVDs with my cousins.. Talked as we watched, had a few laughs along the way.. I went for a walk along the beach earlier today, reminiscing on some memories.. And I just realised that I have more good ones than bad ones.. haha.. I realised that I've achieved some good things in life already.. Good friends, Happy family, and being in poly.. I mean not everyone can have that right? My days have been pickin up, thanks to Ms Rock Royalty.. Just a few sentences, she's able to clear up my mind.. I appreciate that!

I've written a new punk-goes-acoustic song.. Awesome.. I mean, its easier to write love songs rather than anything else right.. haha.. Its sweet.. all along the songs I've written, Its all for my future girlfriend.. haha.. Thats not sure when.. No one knows when..

I've gotta complete somethings before tmr.. Have a presentation.. hah.. GTG!!

2006-05-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

This is some shitty day...NOT!

haha.. perhaps, its a good day for me.. besides that i am still sick, and having headache for the whole day.. Today's highlight was the skit my group have to act.. you know, i dont act as well as my cousin on tv.. but the lecturer was impressed.. And to be proud of.. I was the one who wrote the script, but my group has a fair share of editing.. Haha.. I forgot one of my line towards the ending, and i accidentally say out "Oh Shit.. I forgot my line.." - haha on a positive side, the class laughed at it.. I went home straight after school.. yet, alone again haha..

I asked Zira abt my hair.. She told me to cut it.. And her reason was I dont look fresh with my hair a bit long.. Accidentally bumped into her yesterday on my way back home.. Had a good conversation with her.. I cant remember when was the last time i ever talked to her..

On the other note, I have a bit of thinkin' to do.. It caught up with me in a sudden and I wasn't prepared for it.. But i prefer not to ponder about it and let things be.. I mean, I'm not pushing for it.. I know how my mind works once i've started my deep thinking.. I won't let it bother me that much.. Cuz i wanna have a positive lookout for this weekend.. I think my team has a high chance of being the Champion.. that depends on the team and my mind.. If my mind isn't around the court.. There's a fair chance I'll let the team down..

-----------------------
" Dear God,

For years I've wished and prayed hard to be where I am.. And thankfully, You've granted all my wishes, all but one.. Its the first wish that I have ever made, when I closed my eyes hard in concentration.. And as days,months,years passed by,You've still kept me waiting.. I've been dying to reach her, from somewhere I believe only You knew.. Then came one day, I was looking up, came someone that I barely knew.. Someone I thought You've sent.. For the wish that I've been waiting for.. But I wasn't rushing for it, cuz I know You've great powers and if I believe it too much.. I might be prevailed with devastation.. But, she has all i'd ever wished for.. My heart beat real fast when I think of her name.. And all her words that set a smile on me.. My ever weaknesses only You know.. If You know that, that isn't the answer and grant of my wish.. Please avoid any sadness and grief in my heart, and let me know it, before I fell for the trap You've set.. Cuz all this while I have a blindfold on my eyes cuz I trust You, have a plan for me.. Please guide me along this bearings, God..And let time be a friend, not a foe..

Your's sincerely,
From me.."
-A letter to God,from a boy who he thinks.. Has met an Angel..
------------------------

2006-05-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

Good evening ladies and gentleman...

Well, today hasnt been that great for me.. I have a heavy head when i woke up and i guess i had fever.. the option of skipping school isnt available as i need to settle some project stuffs and I have insufficient rest last nite as i cam home late.. It was damn cold in the morning and i have to put on sweatshirt the whole day.. But its not all bad, I've got to chat with Trisha during my project hours , and guess what, she's sick too.. haha.. then I had my breadboarding done in an instance, I felt smart for awhile there.. haha..

Havent had a good evening as I have somethings coming haunting me.. But i'll put my head low and let my mind wonder..

-------------------------------
As the days I've counted..
I keep on smiling..
When today goes by..
I have been thinking..
I keep my thoughts within me..
Only to bring it to sleep..
I wake up in the morning,
Having to guess..
Is today gonna be the same..
or something different..
------------------------------

2006-05-21T02:23:00.000+08:00

So what can i say about today!!

Today is one of my better days.. Went to Millenia Institute for their Carnival.. It wasn't that bad and I dont want any further comment abt it.. hehe..

Played soccer with a new team.. Hafiz,Haziq,Faris,Sham and Me.. We remained unbeaten for most of the matches and perhaps those lost were there because of tiredness.. But I can tell we played well.. Its not always that I get to play upfront as a striker.. And who-knows-what, I scored more than 15 goals today and its a mark of a beautiful game.. Perhaps if those MI boys were there.. They'll feel like lil kids playin with the big boys.. haha.. I sustain an injury after accidentally kicking one of the respected football player, Shamin.. its bruising alright.. and got a kick from the soccer ball on the stomache and unsuspectingly on the 'balls'.. heh. if you know what i mean.. And the suprise of the day is that, Faizal came down to play with us.. Its been so long since the boys seen him.. Soccer made my day..

Soon after that, we ate at KFC bcuz one of my pals is finding that girl working there.. But just unlucky, she wasnt working today.. haha.. After that I went home and played video games and the guitar.. And thats my day!

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Sadness is a phase..
Helping us to understand the feeling of Happiness..
Being left by one whom we loved..
Its a pain but its the truth that we have to take..
If your mind hovers in the past..
You'll soon forget what life and its beauty is all about..
Time will accompany through your path..
Of your cries and sorrows..
But one day and ever, a smile will come in return..
When the day you can love yourself..
Before you love another..
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2006-05-19T01:17:00.000+08:00

Well, I need a breather.. And I havent have a thing to do for the past 30 mins.. I browsed my friendster's testimonial.. And honestly, some of em brought smiles from my face.. I really appreciate em.. It really helped me bring myself back down to who i am and i appreciate it a lot.. I havent been great, to be honest ppl.. Everything's okay but I don't seem to be enjoying my days like I feel I should.. I spent half of my day not doing anything but just thinking.. and thinking.. of things that I dont know why i thought of em..

I didn't go to school today, I have no mood for school today. Apart from the major reason is that, Arsenal lost a Champions League final all thanks to the Referee and Thierry Henry.. He missed vital chances like he's a semi-pro striker.. I thought to myself, if watching a football match is that much of a hurt.. I wont wanna watch another one on tv and just play football instead of watching em.. Its a pain to see a team working so hard as a unit throughout and that one man the team depend on gives the team the cold.. Honestly a heartbreak..

-----------------------------------------------------------
I feel I am missing a thing.. Its not the first time.. I have a lot of things to say and share.. My happiness and my joy.. My sadness and my tears.. My anger and my frustration.. But all of it, i have been keeping em to myself.. I havent have someone that I trust that much to say those things out.. I'm always afraid of judgement from the person I've talked to.. My words are not meant to be shared.. History doesnt help me in any case.. So i feel in need at times but no help in return.. I don't have an answer .. Please answer me God..
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2006-05-13T01:01:00.000+08:00

I feel real tired today.. I dont know why.. Maybe its bcuz i didnt sleep well last nite.. I have lotsa things going in my mind that i dont have a reason why.. I thought about lotsa things staring in the dark.. But not to worry, i am okay.. Just things get overwhelmed in the brain..

What i did today is.. I went to Friday Prayers then home.. Slightly in the evening, i went for work.. Looked forward to a new staff at work.. Suprisingly turn 6, its someone i knew from school.. He said he had a good first day like no place else.. Thats a good start for him.. Just been working there over 2 months, i'd seen ppl stay and leave for all sorts of reasons.. I hope more staff will be in soon.. Making new friends are a sense of achievement for me..

Clocled out at 11pm and went straight to the bus stop to home.. Met an old friend there, so we talked.. She asked me abt me and stuff like how things are going on and school and everything.. And you know what, that question that i've not long to hear came out of her mouth.. "So how's your girlfriend?".. I answered, "I've no girlfriend.." And just like any drama you watch on television, she said "Serious?! Why not? Go find lah.." and her bus came right after that sentence.. Reality hit me and got me realising that i have a bad love life for a healthy straight teenager.. haha.. Its not bothering, but having to miss the feeling of teenagers' love.. I predict it would be a waste.. After a bus ride long of imagination and unusual thinking.. I came out with a happy mind that I have been doing alright being like this.. Having a girlfriend may or may not have an effect, be it negative or positive.. So i wouldn't complain.. I'll just wait and be patient for that moment to come.. Being wild and reckless over a slight situation from a question, it wouldn't help my cause.. I'm sure there's someone out there from somewhere out there.. I'll meet her..

So here i am writing this post which more of my friends would appreciate of me telling abt my life rather than talking abt anything else.. I'm amazed at some things in life, well something not new to me.. I have ppl in mind i wanna keep for long and some that don't matter that much to me.. well, to name the ppl that dont matter much to me, i can count with my fingers.. Sometimes, being nice isn't a satisfying feeling.. won't you agree? Especially to egos and selfish and foul-mouthed ppl who think they are on top of the world.. I dont understand why such ppl are ard..

I have this fear of bursting out my anger.. I havent been seriously mad at anything.. I mean, i do feel angry when certain things happened against me.. I seem to take it easy and just keep it.. And some i had forgotten either forgiven.. But I dont have yet a limit to my anger.. So i am afraid that the limit might be somewhere near.. But for what i know, I dont have the intention to scold or foul-mouth my friends if they had did anything wrong or make decisions not to my predictions.. I dont use foul language other than means of jokes to friends, but on some occasions when they use it against me on a serious note.. My rage of anger and the boil of blood seems to have complete control over me.. Its hard to control that kind of temper.. But i kept quiet and pretended nothing happen.. But those situations will replay themselves on my mind and i am afraid if it happened again.. I will burst that anger out and cause things i dont want it to happen.. I havent had a fist on someone's face.. And i hope it never happens.. What good do violence have.. Dont just because that i am against violence, i'm weak..
I have a friend who thinks he is unstoppable when he is angry.. Some days i just wish I can tell it straight to his face that he just is lucky to have good friends that can take his stupid words that comes out from his mouth and he's nothing without his friends.. and some day i wish this fist of mine or someone else will knock him out cold just to shut his bloody mouth.. Sure he had a bad day, doesnt mean he can take it out on other ppl.. Have respect dude.. Other ppl too have bad days.. Just like me.. If i had a bad day( the song bad day is playing in my mind now), I would prefer to talk to my friend or my siblings abt it rather than taking it out on innocent ppl around me.. right? So if you are reading this bloody post my friend.. Stuck it in your bloody brain..

I'm against mockery in my blog.. But this is exceptional..

Till the next time ppl..

2006-05-06T20:51:00.000+08:00

OLA PEOPLE!!

been weeks since my last update.. Apologies to the readers, if there are any.. Anyways, I have nothing much to blog about.. Lately, I have been busy with school and work.. And not hanging out much on the weekends like i always do..

School has been nice to me.. Huge luck getting good lecturers for class.. And I think the radio heatwave in my school, well, an in-campus radio broadcast.. I dont know whether its just radio or maybe just bitching on the mic.. To my knowledge, no one has been listening to them, maybe geeks do.. Unnecessary information and useless comments about hollywood stars.. Well, i dont know if that is what radio is all about..

I found this CD in my cupboard, all covered with dirt and minor scratches.. I didnt know what was in it.. Aha, maybe my bro's porn CD.. Gave it a try.. Fortunately or Unfortunately, its not porn.. Its a CD copy of my fav songs between 16 to 17.. Hearing them again makes me reminisce those times, like.. those crushes I had and the songs i tagged them with.. like "Where to Begin - Bowling For Soup" tagged to "xxxxxx".. I had smiles over my face thinking back about how stupid I was back then.. ahha.. well, memories..

I made quite a number of friends these few days, boys and girls, from camp, soccer, friendster.. Its just excitement..
And, i dun take unnecessary cursing as a joke.. Mark this.. Its just an unpleasant suprise and would leave me wordless in the conversation..

------------------------------------
I can see people's life while sitting..
Its just like a tour on strangers life..
And seeing how everyday is like..
From happy couple to quarrelling ones..
From people running through the rain..
to those who are fanning off the heat..
From hot girls to those who try too hard..
From old to the youngs..
From smiles to grumpy faces..
I wonder how their life is like..
Its just amazing..
Maybe if i have a chance to live somebody else's life..
Then would i know how great my life is..
Or how great theirs are..
Then maybe human can appreciate themselves better..
Maybe if you become an old person..
Then you can have your eyes on young people are like today..
Maybe if you become a well known person..
How you would miss going somewhere without being stared at..
Maybe if you become a poor person..
Then you would know life is more than money..
And then you would understand how the rich think of you..
Maybe if you become a rich person..
Then you wouldn't realise how much the poor needs you..
And selfish you would be, spending on things you never need..
In the time today, its easier for the poor to understand the rich..
But harder for the rich to understand the poor..
Maybe if you become an orphan..
Then you would know what 'family' means..
Maybe if you know that you're going to die..
Then would you know the meaning of true 'regret' of deeds..
But these simple things you and i wouldn't understand until its part of our life..
The meaning of fate is 'Life is Unfair'..
And the meaning of help is 'Making life better for one another'..

For the least, give a thought..
Just a moment..

Its just amazing..
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A bus ride is more than a ride..

2006-04-18T08:07:00.000+08:00

Greetings..

After watching Bullet In A Bible of Green Day.. I realised now why Green Day is the fuckin' best band after two decades of their music.. And trust me, they're gonna be legends and the masters of the-middle-finger rock music in history.. From Billie Joe's words, Music ain't about just listening.. Its about passion and emotion in the music itself..

"All we know is that we wrote some songs that we really enjoy and love.. And we knew somewhere that we would enjoy playing these songs when we're older.. The day it makes sense.. We don't have any control over something like that..Its really chaos.. You can't control the wind but you can set your sail and you can kinda keep going that direction.. And wherever it takes you.. And see where you end up.."

-Billie Joe

Closing their best concert ever with "Time of Your Life" is the best song to end any concert.. It even brought tears to some ppl.. Seriously, If I was in England at their concert that time.. It would have been the time of my life.. You ppl should watch it.. Thats all I can say man..
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Well, nothing much has been happening to me.. Other than reading bitchy comments in friendster or myspace like.. "I don't give a damn what ppl say or think of me".. or.. "I am rude and I speak my mind out"..or.. "I hate ppl who try too hard to impress and be cool"..or.. "I hate trend followers.. I think they have no identity".. hehe.. FYI, this is what i call awful entertainment for spare time.. Its fun.. Laugh my ass off reading those.. And maybe its a coincidence or something.. If you're a bloghopper, you'll surely realise there are many young bloggers using big words in their sentences, i mean wide-based vocabulary.. in their blog.. Its impressive but its all around.. Kinda cliche.. Big words that are used wrongly or even rarely used.. Okay, lets talk about something else other than my life cuz its a bore.. I wouldnt think you would be interested in knowing abt my life.. If you are interested, ask me yourself.. so..

I learnt why is it so damn different and hard to be teenagers in the world today rather than how hard it was in the past.. For teenagers today, our future is pre-planned, yes, pre-planned - certificates and qualifications.. Get a good job.. Through high school, college, University, and those craps.. We don't have much of a choice.. Its either that or being viewed as a useless dump by community, or worse,a big fuck failure..

And in this world today, its all about money.. As the saying goes -"Money can't buy happiness.."- Stop fucking deny yourself.. Tell me how many times you have this in your brain.."What if I have that lots of money.. And I can buy whatever i want.." or "What if I was him/her?" after watching a reality tv show.. Won't you be damn happy? And how many divorces were there when a family can't have financial stability.. And for some women, they leave their husbands after they find someone else with more money.. Its a fact.. I am not making it up..

Plus, what are the odds for ppl who tried to turn over a new leaf and what are the odds for ppl who gets 2nd chance in life.. We ppl today try as hard as we can to hide the facts of life from kids.. Thats when teenagers come in.. Teenagers are stressed and maybe, fall into depression because it is the time they turned adult and are forced in with reality of the world today.. Broken family, failure of examinations, politics, terrorism, and the one I pity most..- war victims.. I've never understand the need of war..Maybe this is a sign of human greed.. HUMAN GREED.. I truly believe "The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer".. I personally hate the world today..

Some ppl turn to drugs or cigarettes to release their thoughts and get it over with.. Some may speak to themselves for relief.. Its true some ppl say non living things have no feelings and they dont understand if you speak to em but ppl do.. Sometimes talking to something that don't react to your comments are much better than talking to a person.. It makes you put your words into sentences and sum up your thoughts before talking to someone who might understand you..

Well, ppl-who-read-my-blog.. I have a situation to discuss.. I want to know your thoughts about what you think of-

"A guy who takes a lot of photos closely with many different types of girls.."

and

"A girl who takes a lot of photos closely, physically closely, with many different types of guys.."

Of course the latter is the one I am more interested in.. tag my board or tell me in msn..

The son of rage and love-
Alfie

2006-04-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

Today has been a lil bit frustrating for me..

Not that anyone have a cause of it.. Its just frustrating that on a good day of soccer, my ankle got twisted and bruised.. I had to play street soccer in the afternoon but it hadnt been well in the morning.. I had my eye on goal but that lil hole just outside the penalty box got my left ankle twisted when it dipped inside.. A local field, what can i expect.. Lookin at my foot, its kinda colourful.. A slight red around it and as it goes to the middle, it gets darker and a purple in the middle.. On a positive side, I had one goal in the morning 11-a-side field match and another dozen on the court..

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A lady with beautiful eyes..
With a wonderful mind..
And in every breath she takes..
Comes a sweet soft voice..
And a giggle behind every smile..
A fair complexion..
With a slight reddish lips..
The warmth of her touch..
And the fresh scent of her hair..
As she lays her head on my shoulder..
Just an exchange of the eye contact..
My heart beats incalculably..
When she walks by my side..
With hands coincided..
Its beautiful..
Just beautiful..
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'If I'd live in Imagination.....'

2006-04-07T05:11:00.000+08:00

Remember those times when you say..
"I have this in my dream not long ago"..
And you thought..
"Dreams do come true"..

Remember those days when you thought..
"I made the wrong decision"..
And you said..
"How stupid I was not seeing this coming"..
"What if i have made the other choice"..

Remember those minutes when you say..
"What if that person is mine"..
And you thought..
"What makes me not deserve that person"..
"Life is unfair"..

Remember those nights when you thought..
"I am useless and depressed"..
And you said..
"Why does this happen to me?"..
Everything happens for a reason..

What happens if everybody is equal..
And every same thing happened to each and every one?
Would you want a world like that?

Well, maybe these things occur if you force yourself..
To be somebody you're not..
When you try too hard..
When you think too much..
When you asked too many..
Like jumping from the ground to reach the sky..

One of the things in life I appreciate most are good friends..
Sometimes we overlook situations and forget abt what we have..
In the verge of finding what you don't..

I have been doing well cause I know my friends are there..
To help me in sorts..
Even though they can't help..
The feeling of knowing they're there makes me feel i am not alone..

For those who, unfortunately, don't have good friends..
Maybe its because of who you are as a person..

One of the facts of life is..You can't deny things like..
"Do you go for looks or a nice person first?
"Firstly..
Some good looking ppl go around like they own the world..
Secondly..
Certainly in a situation of choosing between 2 nice ppl..
One is good looking and another average..
I can read your decision in your mind already..

One of the facts of life is..
You can't deny things like..

"Have you slept with anyone before.. would you?
"Although some might say..
"I'm a virgin.."
When they're not..
Totally in self-denial..
Sex is all around the world..
Be it forbidden before marriage or not..
hah..
Msg to boys- Please stop fucking virgins..
Some ppl in this world need them for marriage..

How I wish I can start a "No sex before marriage" campaign..
Impossible it sounds..

One of the facts of life is..
You can't deny things like..
"Do you listen to your parents or your love one?"
hah..
This is the best..

Parents say don't go clubbing.. You won't listen..
Love one says don't go clubbing.. You don't go..
Parents say don't smoke.. You smoke..
Love one says don't smoke.. You stop smoking..
Parents say call me when you reach.. You didn't do it..
Love one says call me every hour.. You do it..
Parents threaten.. You don't seem to be bothered that much..
Love one threatens.. It got stuck in your head for the rest of your time..
And the list go on and on..

Well, I may be wrong.. And loads of crap..
But i may be right.. And full of facts..

Whatever your opinion is..
I won't be bothered to know..
But if you want me to know..
Suits you..

2006-03-22T01:14:00.000+08:00

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen..

Today marks the day I am annoyed with one of the papers in Singapore.. After being petient for days.. It seems like alomost everyday, the frontpage is about either death, torture or embarrassing behaviours.. Its not that I don't appreciate their willingness to let people know about there are these things happening everyday.. But it makes the frontpage most of the time.. Sickening to look at it at the stores I always visit.. I am sure there are a lot of positive things happening in the world today other than negative reports.. Sometimes i just read on the sports section and then throw the paper aside or worse I dun buy em.. Lets see tomorrow what is printed on the frontpage..

-------------------------------------------------
I should've turned back
I should've known better
Than to walk away defeated
I'll say it tonight
I'll say it forever
And this time I really swear I mean it

Oh I need you know
You're still fast asleep
This room is safe and sound
Will you lay here with me?
And feel it

I think I like today
I think it's good
It's something I can't get my head around

True love is something that comes easy
Just one kiss god I swear I want to
I heard a pin drop and a nervous heart beat
Have you ever heard me scream I love you ..
---------------------------------------------
Angels & Airwaves

2006-03-16T05:39:00.000+08:00

Its rarely you get to see me unedited..

2006-03-16T05:14:00.000+08:00

How unfortunate if things you really wish to come true
or having to wish it for time and again
but still hadnt happened for you
Having to realise that things never had changed
when you thought it has
When situations looked promising
and makes you believe
that there's always hope
When you started thinking that time is running out
and you can sound too eager at times
When you keep asking the same questions
over and over again
and you get sick and tired of it
you look out the window and hang there
looking at the sky for answers
but you wont believe that there arent any
and life goes on..
I'm sorry..
-------------------------------------------------------
Written off when i saw a person who had tears standing next to a window
I'm having my holidays and it has been a lil' empty as it seems.. but i am not complaining.. I'm short on bucks but i can survive.. There's always soccer for fillin up the 24 hour span per day.. How lucky i am to be a boy.. A boy canlive without money or even with lil money cuz there are always things for them to do.. Unlike girls who have nothing to dothan combing a doll's hair, even worse spending money to unnecessity.. Maybe not all but MOST.. hah.. How much i hate girls whom are known as high on maintenance.. Have you ever wonder why men go bold and women don't? this is a very good example to explain that.. women spend money like there's rain everyday.. But i must say, thats how things go.. Its okay to know a girl spending a boy's money..Its a lot worse if it goes the other way.. Well, sincere treats are nice for boys but if it comes to the likes of asking from a girl..that's just equal to jerk,asshole,SOB or whatever you wanna name it.. okay back to what i am saying, what do girls do on their freetime? Surf the net? friendster? myspace? and let boys try too hard to impress them on the net? hah.. For personal info, girlswho are too well known on the net is a bloody turn off.. heh.. gets me thinking all sorts of things.. more than one acct in friendster?or getting "U're cute","u're pretty" or even "what you doing?" in myspace.. over and over again by the same dudes.. for those dudes, get a life man..Stop getting the girls to have em on your bed.. Well, writing this may risk my tagboard being flooded by hate taggers.. but they're welcome.. I need awful entertainment once in a while.. But, I too am not perfect and be irritating at times.. or better, sitting next to 'boredom'.. For whatever reasons I apologies..
-Alfie

2006-03-10T05:45:00.000+08:00

In the Time you're reading this,
Its easier to differentiate Saints and Sinners..
But harder to know the truth and the lies..

In the Time you're reading this,
Its easier to sense sarcasm..
But harder to know sincerity..

In the Time you're reading this,
Its easier to create a mayhem..
But harder to find peace..

In the Time you're reading this,
Its easier to read what is typed..
But harder to think of the meaning..

Goodnite

2006-03-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

I'm coming to find you..
If it takes me all night..
Wrong until you make it right..
And I won't forget you..
At least I'll try..

I was out shopping for a doll..
To say the least, I thought I'd seen them all..
But then you took me by surprise..
I'm dreaming bout those dreamy eyes..
I never knew, I never knew..
So take your suitcase, cause I don't mind..
And baby doll, I meant it every time..
You don't need to compromise..
I'm dreaming bout those dreamy eyes..
I never knew, I never knew..
But it's alright...
-------------------------------------------
Taken from 'Everything Will Be Alright - The Killers'

I picked out these phrases from the song.. The reason is it brought me memories that are still fresh in my mind.. It was like just yesterday.. But its too beautiful that I only remembered it, not the time.. Some things in life I won't wanna exchange even for anything..

A change is a sacrifice it may seem..
Some compromise even though out of hate..
Some understand instead of crying out loud..
It's said its for the better..
I don't believe..
If its not for yourself..

A sacrifice is thoughtful it may seem..
Only time will tell when it will last..
It won't be forever..
You'll be back to who you are..
I do believe..
If its not for yourself..

A compromise is painful it may seem..
It means some aren't as what is written..
This comes the definition of understanding..
A prove of your acceptance..
Like the saying of water and fire..
I do believe..
If its for yourself and another..

Love is beautiful it may seem..
It's what keeping the world alive..
And no writer could ever finish..
Writing about Love..

Love will change because of you..
Not you will change because of Love..

Love is not about a sacrifice for other..
Love is about a sacrifice for yourself..

Love will make you compromise..
Not you that will make love compromise..

Love has a part to understand yourself and other..
You and other has a part to understand about Love..

Probably, if you don't understand this.. You aren't in love..
--------------------------------------------
Taken from 'Heart And Mind' -Alfie

So I'm having my last paper on friday.. After that freedom will be restored for 6 weeks..
Lotsa catching up to do.. And probably, i'll be riding thru for bike license.. I am dreaming of it and make it a reality by june the earliest.. I can see my 2nd wife each time i close my eyes.. And its good to know that my 1st wife doesnt mind me having a mistress.. Although she's a bit jealous.. haha.. I believe its too sick to think that a non living thing makes a better girlfriend than a girl.. hehe.. they understand much better..

I'm taking photos of myself soon.. I need a change after doing my 2nd year of Poly.. New batch of photos.. New style.. And probably a new me.. Putting my words directly indirect and indirectly direct.. I learnt that it makes others understand a lot better.. Don't you think..

I watched Frasier the other day and there's this part where I this girl is too embarrassed to tell her boyfriend's job.. which is a garbage man.. but she thinks he's nice and all.. she is proud to have him but not too proud to tell other what he does for a living.. I know its unusual, cuz one should be laughing watching a comedy. but instead it got me thinking for the next 15 minutes..

What if I was a nice and polite garbage man.. Would my family members or loved ones disclose my occupation? Its a lot easy if the question "What do you do now?", is directed to me.. Cuz i think its easier to tell from the first person.. rather than "What does your son/husband/brother do?" to any of those close to me..Would they be able to tell them the truth? For the least, i know I make a living in an honest manner.. How do i tell others not to look down on ppl like that? How do i tell others that these ppl are not stupid or useless? Sure, if you make a better living, you're better.. But Life comes in different situations, sometimes it is fate that makes someone like that.. If all human are given the same fate.. Who would do that job? hah.. Mostly parents have a mindset that youngsters with low qualification are useless and worthless.. I believe that youngsters have different backgrounds.. For those who are lucky, they're usually better.. For those with tough luck, its harder for them.. I think if you read this and have "who cares? F*ck em.." in ur mind.. You're a lot useless.. Think about it.. Make the world a better place.. haha.. Close to impossible ain't it..

Enough of typing.. My mind is running to thoughts I won't prefer to have right now.. I have to rest.. Good day..
-Alfie

2006-02-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

There will come a time..
When you feel like walking away..
When you feel like shouting back..
When you feel like you are right and the other is wrong..
When you want to stand up for yourself..
But in the end..
You just sit there and say nothing..
And just look away..
Keeping your infuriation deep within..
You feel its useless to brawl over it..

There will come a day..
When you are not in control of yourself..
The crude words of yours burst from your lungs..
The thought of making things right..
Was just wrong..
You made the other blank in silence..
Yes, you win this time..
But you will lose forever after that..
If you're lucky, it happened to an enemy..
What if it happened to a person that matters to you?
You call for the end of a line..

There will come a week..
When you regretted your doings..
You seek the path of forgiveness..
But the other is too afraid to be near you again..
Too afraid of the words threw out..
Or worse..
You have a new enemy..
A new person who won't speak to you again..
A new person who swears on every sight of you..
A new person who curses on every of your name..

There will come a minute..
In your thoughts..
You cried of how you wish it didn't happen..
When you beg for things to be normal again..
When you spent a moment of silence thinking..
About how you miss old times..

There will come a second..
To think about who are you speaking to..
If other's enemy is you, have all the time to salvo out your anger..
If its someone whom is part of you..
Better to keep your head low..
Then to lose that someone..

There will come a priceless moment..
That you can sit down..
And vent your anger..
With someone that is always there for you..
To hear your say and to return with advice..
Everybody has one..
If you don't..
Ask your conscious..
How self-centered you've been..

Gifts and curses of anger..
---------------------------------------------------
A thought of 'loved enemies'

2006-02-25T03:47:00.000+08:00

I know sometimes things dont go the way we wanted to..
Perhaps there are reasons why it happened..
Stop thinking too much of what you want to have..
Appreciate those you have with you now..
Friends if not family..
Loved ones if not friends..
Learn to appreciate..
And give a moment of prayer..
Wouldnt take long..
It wouldnt..

2006-02-25T02:29:00.000+08:00

I sat down and took my pen..
Opened the book of my simple words..
Of Acrimony and laudation..
Adulation for one and malevolence for other..

But to my suprise,
I cant write anything..
I waited for awhile for my thoughts to sanction the pen..
To write ingenuous feelings i have in me..

I closed it and went to the corridor for a breath of fresh air..
I look up to the staggering sky..
And with one deep breath of nature..
Memories intrude..
In just one blink..
Flashes of time sees through my closed eyes..

The days I have to tell cunning lies,
The times I took things never was mine..
I skipped the clock where I should've been praying..
The curses for misfortunes..
The words of mockery and disdain..
The ill-mannered use of my senses..

Of the worse, I realise and apprehend my actions..
But i couldn't care less to change..
I am too surfeited with myself and fun..

While thoughts of recollection is upon my mind..
A sudden flash of fire rushed..
In an instance I opened the blink of my eye..

And in qualm,
I took my ablution and proceeded for prayers..

For i know mistakes I've done,
For i know I'm forgetful,
I know I have to be reminded..

Humans have instructions they never read..
--------------------------------------------------
Alfie

I wrote this to remind Muslims, including myself of what our daily doings are..
I clearly know I am not a saint and not that close to be known as religious..
but I am human too..

Please forgive me..

2006-02-24T18:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 19TH

BIRTHDAY HANNAH!!!!!

2006-02-20T02:28:00.000+08:00

18th of February was a hit for me. I have my first champion trophy of 2006 and that marks the start of more victories to come. Being the captain for a champion side is surely better than sex. Played in all the 7-a-side matches and won all. Thanks to the players I am proud to call a team. Everybody played their role and its the best performance I've seen. Totally Awesome.

Went out with Emily and my buddies for lunch and then to PS just to kill time. Emily's portfolio really is impressive and probably, I'll ask her to draw me so I can put an end to my imagination on how i look like as a cartoon character. The day was awesome, but only to be stirred off with acrid comments from some ppl who doesn't know how to keep the mouth shut.

Emily

Went to Shamin's place at night to witness a leg breaking day for Alan Smith of Liverpool against Manchester United. If I had been at home, I would have given him a standing ovation for Alan, for not having tears of pain after the affliction he had.

But 19th of the month is a different story.. Its a story of a hollow and a mundane day, where I have only the TV and my sexy Ibanez as my companion. Jamming session was canceled due to lack of communication. But, the climax of the day is that I've 100% completed my first written song piece and sang it to myself in my room. I'll have to put it till next week at least to have the whole band to hear it. And now I'm watching Aston Villa Vs Man City on tv. I'll put up the lyrics of my song only after it is officially my band's song. Till then, this are my last words for this post..

Have an awesome next 24 hours-
Alfie

2006-02-17T15:48:00.000+08:00

U will never know what is going to happen in the next second neither will you remember what you did in the last second..

Broken Love
-------------
I have played with things that I shouldn't have..
Now i have to pay the price of responsibility and ignorance..
I couldn't live with it that I have to do it..
I came to see the tears I have caused..
The pain I have left..
I could see it in every word you said..
Look at my reflection of regret..
I have been through sleepless nights..
I have been through my own tears to look at myself again..
I just walked down the path forgetting to look back at the mirror I have made..
I smiled when you cry..
I laughed when you think..I
forget when you remembered..
I walked away when you came to me..
I reasoned when you asked..
I let go when you hold..

Time passed..

I cried when you're gone..
I think when you're away..
I remembered those times that you tried hard to forget..
I search what is not already there..
I asked but there was no answer..
I saved for what i have left..
But slowly..slowly..
Its gone..
I turned and looked at myself..
I saw everything else but not you..
Not even on any side..
Pain struck in the middle of everything..
Regret..
But its something I have brought into what I did..
I turned and walked again..
Hoping..
not to meet..
You..
----------------------------------------------------
Written abt a friend's love story back years ago..

2006-02-16T19:26:00.000+08:00

It was an awesome 14th of February, of which I'll keep a happy secret.

15th of February
No school for the day, home is where fun i have..
From playing guitar to msn to xBox..
And played Hexic in msn and someone cheated playing it.. hah..
Theres nothing much to tell for the day.

16th of February
I went out to buy the replacement of my guitar string; A result of hardcore and aggressive strumming, hah.. cant help it..
And now i'm sitting on this seat writing this mundane post..
Looking forward to Saturday where we'll be Champions once again.. nothing less..
7-a-side soccer competition for ex YISS students.. We'll trash apart the teams we'll face..

2006-02-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

Girls dream of Princes..
Boys dream of Sexy Ladies..

Girls dream of Romantic Boys..
Boys dream of Sexy Ladies..

Girls dream of Muscular Boys..
Boys dream of Sexy Ladies..

Girls dream of Smart Boys..
Boys dream of Sexy Ladies..

Girls dream of Popular Boys..
Boys dream of Sexy Ladies..

So girls, whats so hard for you to understand what guys want.. haha..
When boys or even boyfriends close their eyes and dream..
Theres a high chance its not you..
It can be..
Adriana Lima..
Mischa Barton..
Rachel Bilson..
or even Pamela Anderson..
or the all time boys fav..
Jenna Jameson..
hah..

Was out late for the past 2 nites.. Mum aint proud of it.. Probably dad knows what i have been doing.. but i am gettin silent treatment from mum this morning.. well, i think its silent treatment.. i dont know if she's angry with me or maybe she doesnt mind.. eventually, she told me to clean up my room.. So, i still dont know whether she's angry at me or not..

Exams comin in 2 weeks.. process of preparation has been gettin on.. cant believe next is the last year for me in poly before graduating.. after that, goodbye my hair.. haha..

A piece of mind:

When it comes to say,
I'll hesitate till i know..
What my heart speaks,
rather than mind..
For years i still live..
To learn completion of wonders..

When Love overwhelms,
Its easy to speak of Death..
When Love starts,
Wish for Death will be far away..
When Love flows,
Death for one is heroic to tell..
When Love ends,
Death seems an option in pain..
For all the questions,
Love and Death are best of friends..

---------------------------------------------
Copyright
- Alfie

You had come for me to see you leave..
Why does my eyes tell me truth that I wish I wouldn't know..
You said the words that made me remember..
Why does my ears tell me lies that I thought honesty was what i heard..
You had my mind with still moments of you..
Why does memory make me feel I've lost what i didn't fight for..
You had me with words of denial..
Why does voice seems easy to believe..
You had gone before i could turn and reach you..
Why does the warmth leave me grasping the cold air..
I'm left with a breath, with a crystal tear..
Sigh of reminisces of my secrets..

-----------------------------------
Part and Past of me..
Alfie

Spinning 'Rush Together' - QuietDrive

2006-02-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

Its unusual of typical friday nite sitting here typing this.. I should be out with pals either playing poker or make someone feel stupid for our amusement.. Reading on about a gig 'A Glass Expose'.. No idea who to go with.. I'll find some one.. hah..

Its pretty much a smooth day but kinda boring..
I was late for class again and Mr ESD just shook his head..
"Why are you late?"
-"I got caught in the rain and I am bringing laptop.."
"Oh okay..Sign your attendance"

Woohoo! Off the hook once again.. not that i am gifted for lying.. I hate to lie, but to save my ass from winded words of his.. I'd rather lie..

I cant believe a lecturer calling me "Alfie".. wtf came under my breath.. yesterday was the bloody first time i had that from Mr Must-pay-attention-everytime..

I've gotta run, havin supper with Pete.. Off till then..

Alfie

Listenin to 'Rise from the ashes' - QuietDrive

2006-02-04T02:31:00.000+08:00

Today is a day I should remember..
Its just like any other days,
but its a day that i realised an awful lotsa things..
Thru words of experience from friends,
I learnt to avoid what i could've gone through in times to come..

So today, someone called me Rockstar for the first time..
Thank you very much..

Honestly, I have nothing to blog about..
I find it difficult to write the history of my day when I am feeling pretty much normal and nothing exciting has strucked me lately..
so what i can blog about now is probably what i am thinking about now..
I'm gonna proceed and continue my bike license after some hold up for the month of January..
I've been dreaming about Vespas since days ago..
Maybe its a sign..

On the bus ride home.. I eavesdropped on a phone conversation from a dude sitting next to me..
I dont know who was on the line with him..
but he seems to be furious with the person he's talking to..
Asking about "How do you feel about me?" and "Who am I to you?" and "How many guys you like and what are those promises you made to me about?"

In mind, Gosh this is getting serious.. I felt like changing to another seat.. but no seat was available..

It kept playing in my mind when I reached home.. I remember the words I had for myself about not competing for a girl's love and if a girl treats getting her as a competition.. I won't be competing.. C'mon, what are you a trophy? Feelings are not to be competed for.. I really hate girls that "ouh, which guy should i choose to be my boyfriend?.. is it **** or **** or ****?" for girls who have those thoughts or think of being like that.. F- off.. For all i know, i'll not be in a competition.. If you think I am the one you wanna be with, then I'll be around.. If you take me in your game, I'll shut myself off from you.. Thank you..

Well, deep thoughts are a kill sometimes.. but its worth it to have it once in a while..

I've watched a few war movies and documentaries.. I really feel like doing something to have all wars in Earth to end.. I'm all out against wars.. A dispute between men and revenge, all not worth it for innocents to die.. Even soldiers, i don't think they want to fight, I believe they want to be home with their loved ones rather than having a gun in their hand ready to kill another soul..

For days to come, I hope they're gonna be fun and relaxing.. though i have assignments to complete.. few of em.. For those whose reading, have a good day and catch up with ya soon.. I'll be around..

Goodnite for now-
Alfie

2006-01-26T19:15:00.000+08:00

Ola!

Woah.. today is one of the most relaxing day of my life..
Wake up, go to school and went to the lesson i missed twice in the last 2 weeks..
Went in the class and the lecturer was like " why you nvr come last 2 lessons?".. "aiyaa.. now must explain again.. see lah you all.. must come to class.. every lesson important you know.. "
heh.. i just kept quiet, lazy lah want to talk to him..

so i drilled and soldered the board quickly and i am left with one last board he told me to complete it next week..

amazing i did 2 day job in one.. He's quite happy about it.. "Wah so fast ah you do?" "but cannot you know.. skip skip lesson.."
Alermak orang tua ni.. macam nak kene smack pun ade..

After that went home!!

I bought Straits Times.. thought of finding a job under part-timr or Sales.. but..
there's only a lil section of it.. and all need female.. female environment and able to speak mandarin..

I feel like the women are taking over the world.. No!!! I'm going on strike tmr at ..ermm.. at anywhere lah.. take 2 big boards and write "Men Need Job" in the front.. "Women sit at home" at the back.. I'll not be wearing anything else except the boards.. haha..
Reserve the front page of the papers for me!

I just woke up from afternoon nap.. I am hungry.. My sis not at home.. Thought want to ask her take for me.. nyahaha!!

And i got to know more ppl who's living in Bukit Batok.. cool ey..What a small Singapore..

Whats on tv tonite ey? hmm.. Thursday.. I hope there are sumthing fun..

For now, i need to get myself off the bed and to the living room.. Till Then, Have a nice evening everybody!!

Alfie

2006-01-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

Those days to forget,
I'll remember..
Those I try to remember,
I must forget..

Those days that hurt, remember em..
It will make you stronger..
Those cherish moments, forget em..
It will just make you linger in the past..

I learnt to stand tall..
For my rights and reasons..
I learnt to lean back..
For my happiness and smiles..

There are times I have to speak my mind..
I'll try not to have my knuckle on you..
There are times when i apologise..
Just simply I have a life..

I'm pickin' up pieces as I got along..
I'm taking small steps not to miss what's there..
I'm here for a while..
Appreciation will make it long..

If you read till this line, you have my bow..

I need.. If you realise..
I hope you will..

Thank you-
Alfie

2006-01-13T03:00:00.000+08:00

I have only myself to blame..
I feel things are falling apart..
All I had was in my hand..
One by one, I dropped it..
More of.. taken away..
I can't control my feelings and emotions..
It all runs down..
I'm feeling way out of how i was like..

I'm a very strong person..With healthy principles..
Positive outlooks..
Confidence..
Those feelings of joy..
Good lifestyle..

Now, I am just a useless..
Plain useless..
I got booted out of soccer..
I tried my best..
I know i can do better..
But there are better players than me..
Soccer has been my life for a whole stretch..
Now its been taken away..
I have only myself to blame..

I always have believed this quote..
"Treat ppl around you like how you want them to treat you"..
F*ckin' bullshit..
Now I just don't believe it at all..
No one appreciates kindness..
I believe that now..

I treat some ppl really good..
Having to ask how was their day..
Having to ask abt how are things going..
Showing concern and even have the heart to help..
Having the f*cking time to show them i care..

Everytime I wanted to talk my heart out..
I don't know who I can talk to..
And everytime I tried..
They'll just start telling me abt theirs..
Maybe I've listened too much..
But I always be nice and help..
Show some appreciation, human..

Hoping someone would do the same for me..
Hoping someone to have the time..
But..
Maybe I should just f*ck off from their lives..
Maybe I should do that.. big maybe..
I have only myself to blame..

I've always have to sit and look downwards..
With my hands grabbing both sides of my hair..
With eyes wide open..
Thinking back abt these awful moments..
Always thinking..
What if I have chosen another choice than the one i took..
I believe things would have been different..

I have to pretend a lot..
I have had to lie a lot..
I have to make changes to make em happy..
I have to put a smile on top of my sorrows..
The truth hurts, But the lies are worse..

When will this end..?
Maybe I hadn't pray hard enough..
Well, I should..

---taken from Alfie's life

Now, I should just focus about my life..
Makin' plans to get it back on track..
I gotta get out of this mess..
Its too heavy on my back..
I need help..
Seriously..
Help me..

Goodnight everybody..
Alfian

2006-01-09T00:34:00.000+08:00

Today is a very cool day.. literally cool.. been raining since i opened my eyes from sleep..

well, its a Sunday, usually, its soccer day.. but since its raining.. soccer is canceled.. A part of me wanted to stay home and just sleep my day away.. while another wants to go out and walk in the rain.. its gonna be fun.. haha.. Went out with a coupla my buddies to Plaza Singapura.. I was looking for a sweater, a simple one, but PS doesnt have much of sweaters in there..

After that, went to Istana Park..

That's when I realised Me and buddies have been losers all this while.. haha.. you're right.. losers.. My friends are Zul and Wan..
Playing cards whil eating butter buscuits my friend bought from 7 eleven..
a 1.5L of apple juice and Tong Garden's Shandong Groundnuts bought from Carrefour..
Sitting down on the floor..
haha.. th climax is.. we sang this phrase.. one of my friend started and soon on the 2nd line me and friend joined in.. we just sang 2 lines out of the song.. the lines are..
"I give you my love.."--first line..
"My eternal love.."--2nd line..

I hope you peeps dont know the song.. its just a bloody big embarrassment to have the cheeks to sing that song.. haha..

Losers we are..

Zul shared to Wan a joke abt MacDonald House.. Only losers have that kinda jokes.. hah..

Well, we didnt see that coming when we were 16.. haha..

So, my common test is done.. Feelin' much better.. Very much better.. Just waiting for the result in the coming week.. Hope for the best.. I didn't concentrate on my CT that much.. My time was spent relaxing my mind and body.. hehe.. It's time for me to get serious.. Exams are just 6 to 8 weeks away.. Must be focused..

The performance on Saturday was great.. haha.. Its my first contribution to malay culture and i am proud of it.. Although playing the 'gong' sounds simple.. well, for me.. it is not that easy, as if i beat the gong wrongly, it affects the beat of the dance and will result to confusion! but Alhamdulillah.. i didn't make any mistake.. the dance was good.. but surely all of us have a room for improvement.. next big thing is my school's open house.. I hope i can commit to the weekly training as my footballing come's first.. I just hope it wouldn't clash.. Fasting on 9th,that is on monday.. that is today.. I heard its a good day for fasting.. Really is.. although I have a soccer match, i will still fast.. I hope i won't get affected by dehydration.. Wish me the best..

It's going to 1 am but i havent sleep.. watching soccer on tv.. Man U against burton albion.. FA cup clash.. going to watch it on the 2nd half.. Gotta go..

Have a nice day-
Alfie

2006-01-03T15:39:00.000+08:00

Ola!! Happy New Year!!

I changed my blogskin after numerous complains from friends.. hehe.. not only complains, but scolded summore.. I won't name the people, to avoid further scoldings.. haha..

So its a whole new year and for me its a whole new Life.. I wanna change every bits and pieces of me.. To have a better Life for myself.. And not for others.. I just wanna be happier unlike any other recent years.. No more Mr Old Guy..

I even had a new year haircut.. haha! My mum isn't that excited about it.. hehe.. I guess she wants old type decent hairstyle.. side parting with a big curry puff in front.. haha!!

I wont forget any of my friends, I'll bring em to my future.. I will just forget ppl who treats me like their enemy.. Cuz i wont be needing em that much..

A whole Happy New Year for all my friends, family, relatives and myself!

Have a nice day-
Alfie

2005-12-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

Sailing on my own boat..
Cruising through the easy ocean..
With blessed wind..
I saw a sinking ship right ahead..
Stopped to pull em up..
But stopped too long..
That I've been pulled down..
Water is boarding..
I thought i'm helping..
But maybe i wasn't..
I didnt know disaster would struck me..
I was alright.. I was alright..

Now I'm drowned in the deep ocean..
Thinking this would be the end of my long adventure..
I thought a lot of what set me off..
I thought a lot of what keeps me on..
I thought about.. too much to think about..
Maybe the last thing i had done is wrong..
Just maybe..
I've already guessed what will happen next..
The end of my journey..

But there's something i forgot..
The ocean isn't empty..
Filled with fishes..
Friends and Enemies..

I was pulled up..
To my gratefulness..
Friends were there..

I thought I sail only with the help of the wind..
But not for more..
I didnt realise that friends were underneath always watching me..
And always there when I need em..

Thank you..
Its for you..

....Should I help the sinking again?

Copyright Alfie

-----------------------------------------------------------------
So i've been reading the papers lately.. and i noticed its full of negative things.. like critics, murders,injuries,cheats,complains and lot more.. I hate reading about em.. Life isnt that sad right? I am sure theres a lot of happy things that HUMAN can read about.. sigh..

My soccer hasn't been good at all..
Out of..
6 layoffs, i got 2 correct..
3 shots, i got 1 on target..
4 high balls, i controlled 2..
5 crosses, i got 2 perfect ones..

thats bad..
I've been shooting empty ammo..
My mind just wasn't there..
I dont know why..

Empty days have been filling me..
Empty feelings have been killing me..
Empty mind have been confusing me..
Lets NOT talk about it..
Cuz i know that the ear wont be listening..

Okay.. I shall stop saying all those things that bothers me.. I dont want to be like the papers..

And the bright thing that have been with me is my family..
And my friends.. some of them..

Thats all I have to say for now..
Kill the time that hasnt been waiting..

2005-12-12T03:30:00.000+08:00

Riding life on a high..
Being someone whom I've made up..
I know its gonna be fun..
I'm not hurting..
I'm not playing..
but I am just watching the show..
where I am the real star..

I will be out of this at any moment..
I just need to be tired..
But I am not now..
I am still in for a thrill..
I'll take whatever I can out of this..
To path myself to the next year..
I will be sitting down and smile..
thinking abt this phase..
I'm not gonna be gone..
But one day I will..
If the hourglass is empty..
You'll get to turn it..
Only If I help..

This is not for anyone in specific..
But If you read it and you feel like..
Like you need to do something abt it..
You should..
Cuz i'll be waiting..
And you should know i wont wait that long..

I'm not hurting.. I'm not playing..-
Alfie

2005-12-02T03:06:00.000+08:00

Ola!

So its been ages since i last updated.. sorry lah.. busy man ah.. haha.. Syaz balik-ing kampung!! I want to ask her to buy chewing gum.. but she offline already.. perhaps tmr morning i shall sms her..

This weak has been a rushing week and a tiring week.. i dont know why am i tired since no soccer training for the week..

I passed my 2nd bike prac.. woohoo!! time to call up my gang when to take the 3rd prac together.. but no money.. how? i shall find 23 friends, each to borrow me $1.. so i can take the bike prac.. hahaha!! pathetic..

Writing this entry, i feel so hungry.. wait a while.. i am taking the bread mum bought earlier..( walking to the kitchen.. taking bread.. sit down.. and eat.. yum yum yum) back! hehehe.. so where was i..

yeah..

Just now we were suppose to play soccer but canceled due to poor attendance.. since i planned it.. then 2 of my friends cant make it... i told the other 2 that plan has been canceled.. they replied "taik betul.. cancel plan.." and "lah.. mcm2 lah..."

haizz.. i plan and i some sort got scolded.. its an unfair world.. i believe.. hehehe..

i cut my hair at the barber since the salon is closed for the day.. it sucked! not that sucked ah.. you should see me without my wax.. oh man.. its a horror..

i have realised i am liking hard rock now rather than punk rock.. i still listen to punk rock.. but hard rock just hit my day!!! AWESOME!!

i was watching MTV just now, and they played this video from the early 90s.. I watched the African American group singing.. I realised how much different their style is.. In those times its like flat top with long sleeved shirt and big glasses.. and now.. its like bad boy gangsta image.. haha.. just llok at 50 cent.. he got banned from a particular tour as the country thought he is promoting violence of guns and gangstas! haha..

okay.. i should go to sleep now.. must sleep.. i dun want to be late for school..

GOODNIGHT!!

2005-11-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

Ho ho!

So I went to training today despite the injury i picked up yesterday.. yesterday was the ankle.. today its the shin, one long straight red line, and bruised knee..

I've just realised the song "Dirty Little Secrets" is nice.. Playing it now on the guitar.. I miss jamming.. totally too long since i last jammed.. Call em' up KCOD!! soon.. soon..

Awesomely cool, I enrolled for motorbike license previous Sunday.. I'll put much effort to pass it as soon as possible..

I was late for class again today.. reached at 8.20 am.. damn.. Not a good start to my day, but has a much favoured evening.. I'll keep it.. Class starts at 1 pm tmr.. so i can watch Champions League tonight!!

The dudes that read my blog is only my pals.. but they dun tag it.. so you can see only girls tagging it.. well, I am grateful enough there are ppl tagging my blog.. Appreciate it..

Adios- till next..

2005-11-19T03:38:00.000+08:00

oLa!

Havent summed up my words for this entry..
I'll just write whatever comes into my mind..
So.. Life hasnt been pretty sweet for me..
Have gone thru lotsa things that happened in an unexpected way or things i have never asked for..

Got kicked out of the Squad to Australia..
I've no mood to train for the school like i used to..
Maybe after the tournament in Australia, I'll train up to my best..

Short say:
I've wrote a song..
I was about to sing..
When the light from the candle goes off..
By the wind that wasn't even there..
Maybe it wasn't meant to be..

The light of fire from that candle..
Was the only hope of me getting through the darkness..
Even it didnt help me out..

In the dark..
I can't play my song as the guitar wasn't at sight..
I'm left sitting in the hollow room..

I opened the matchbox..
There was none..
The only matchstick that already lit the candle..

Now the light has escaped..
And the song is gone..
I hope its gone for good, maybe its not..

But I had wished..
The light to give me the chance for me to escape..
From the dark and the empty sight..
But, I hadn't had the chance..

And I wish..
The light will come back..
The song really meant a lot to me..
I'm sorry..I just wanted to sing you the song..

Now, I am thinking and staring at the screen..
Not knowing what to write..
Hadn't been a happy start to being 18..

Sounds of evil calling my name..
To come and join them and forget those days..
I can't believe it, they had fun..
Now i wanna know.. Is it already time?

I'm sorry if my explanation of my life has to be not direct..
I feel comfortable expressing myself in those words above..

I have been nice..
For that, things never had been the way i wanted..
Not even one single thing..
I tend to sing my feelings by playing the guitar..
And have always been playing the guitar late at night..
Thats bad..

I've been late for school on some occassions..
I havent been eating a lot like i used to..
I havent been praying hard.. to be honest..
I havent been on the best i can be..
Empty..

Why God? Why?
I have been nice..
If you want me to be this way, I'll accept it..
I just pray things would be a lot easier for me..

I had wished you can make things a lot easier for me.. yes you..

Feelings I dont play with..
Friendship I nvr take em for granted..

F.Y.I:
I don't cheat on girls..
I had been bad in the past..
But i hadn't slept with anyone and never will, till my wife..
I am honest..
So should you..
I like to be direct.. but not abt my feelings..
If i had, it is from my honesty..

The only person hearing me is ONE..
You gave me your time..
Listening abt me as i do listening abt you..
Thank you.. I really appreciate that..

I WISH TODAYS HAVE BEEN BETTER LIKE I ALWAYS WISH EVERY MORNING..

On a brighter note..
Watched Harry Potter with Shamin,Hafiz and Adnan.. Damn crack of the jokes.. Fun man..
And went out past weekend with my secondary school friends for hari raya..
Nin had all the jokes and had 10 best jokes i ever know is from that day..
Totally awesome..

2005-11-07T02:55:00.000+08:00

Loser Born Alive..

I just want to turn my back like you always do..

I'll take the loser way out..

Goodbye..

2005-11-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

HO HO.. Its a bitter-sweet Birthday for me..

A lot of major things happened in my life.. Let me start..

Positive:

I had a lot and a lot and i mean a lot of sms-es wishing me happy birthday.. I feel very happy! hehe.. From unexpected ppl, for expected ppl from unknown numbers.. hehe..

I talked to some relatives i never talked to before.. hehe.. cool..

Went to houses of 'just married' relatives.. nice colours ah their house.. but a bit small.. but its still cosy..

Negative:

I didn't get to turn up for the soccer match cuz mum told me i have to stay with the family.. She's strict.. I dont dare do anything stupid by sneaking away.. I'll be stupid to do that..

So, i missed the match and the finalise list of those going to Australia is out.. and guess what.. my name isn't there.. instead the back up player's name is in there.. I was told I am already going and yet this happen.. and the one who selected the players isnt the coach.. Its the teacher-in-charge..I have the right to be angry.. hehe.. but i am not.. I'll stay cool.. Get angry also no use.. I'll talk with the teacher-in-charge and ask how he selected the players.. i'll see how.. if it is reasonable.. its okay.. but according to me, I play better, I hold the ball better, I am taller, I am faster, I am fitter.. Its all proven.. And the players prefer me to be in the team.. I am just inexperience whereas the back up player plays for tanjong pagar.. I'll discuss this with the coach and teacher-in-charge.. See how it goes.. The teacher-in-charge hasnt' seen me play, hasn't seen me train, he's not even there when i played the matches for the school.. I wonder how he select the players.. hehe.. I'll update on Monday to see how things go.. Wish me the best..

hehe.. so thats all i have to say..

Have a nice day-
Alfie

2005-11-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

Me and cousin..

2005-11-05T00:50:00.001+08:00

Its me again..

2005-11-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

Me and Sis!!

2005-11-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya Pictures!!

2005-10-31T09:27:00.000+08:00

Phew.. I mark the first day of a new semester with coming to class late.. hehe.. its raining.. dun blame me.. hehe..

Writing this entry illegally in class.. haha.. but the lecturer is not so bad.. he's lively.. and his explanation is clear.. hah..

but its too early to say.. lecturers also want good first impression.. lets see how far i have to go to get on his nerve.. hehe..

oh shit.. he's walking to my desk.. i better go now..

2005-10-28T23:08:00.000+08:00

A day that will go untold..
Its just a day of rage and revenge..
A day of blessings behind curses..
A day not to be remembered..
Yet not forgotten..
I'll find help..
I will..

2005-10-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

LATEST UPDATE!!!
hehehe..

havent had anything exciting to blog about.. but today i had a school soccer match and we drew 2-2 with National Under 16.. Disappointed result.. and i hadn't try my best.. fasting i guess.. I'll step up for the next match i hope..

The new sofa has arrived at my house.. felt different when i sat on it..

today's excitement came late.. I went to buy a replacement guitar string for my classical guitar.. and i was heading down from the shopping centre and wanted to go home.. but i went to Giordano to have a look at a sweat-shirt.. Expensive! so i head to the t-shirt side.. and the story starts..

I was just browsing on the t-shirt, listening to 'Pieces - Sum 41', and suddenly..

"Yes Sir, may i help you?"..

I was about to say "ermm.. just browsing around.." but i like the t-shirt..

I looked up.. and the actual words that came out of my mouth is..

"Errmm.. just browsing....(suprised).. do you have size L for this?"

She is totally pretty.. wooooohhhh..... haha.. serious man..

"You're malay right?" she asked..

"eerrr... yeah.." she giggled..

"Baju ni cutting dia besar.. maybe S or M is nice for you.." she said..

"okay.. I'll try it on in the fitting room"

after trying it on..

"How is it sir? oops.. sorry.. melayu kan.." she smiles..

"I think i'll take XS.."

"you wanna get 3 for $20" she said..

"nahh.. just one.."

"satu je?" she asked..

"yeah.."

"so that'll be $8.."

she gave me a receipt.. I took it and smile at her.. She smiled at me!!

"thank you.."

hahha.. i walked out with the smile not wiped off my face.. hehe..

exciting aint it.. I think I'll head there again some time..

hah!

Have a nice day-
Alfie

2005-10-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

So, after the hardwork and determination.. I am selected to go for the tournament in Australia.. Alhamdulillah.. I have lots to prove to the coach.. but i'll do my best..

And I have yet to go to Bazaar Geylang.. hehe.. Its once a year, so i won't miss it.. I wonder how's it there.. Maybe i'll head there next week..

There's a poem playing in my mind today.. From my own..

Am i ready to compromise?
Or must i stick to my word?
After long, there's a waiting for the call..
When is the day I'll say out my word?
I've been telling a lot..
And my words are heard..
Should i compromise?
There's fear in me right now..
After so long, I may mess up the equation..
What words will be going around me?
The thoughts that changed angled me down..
What will happen next..
What have I to say?

For those who understand the poem.. You have a great mind..
For those who doesn't..i may not answer.. depends..
If its a good day..

2005-10-11T04:05:00.000+08:00

Had Iftar today in my school.. The food was awesome.. hehe.. and the heart-felt prayers.. overall, i consider it a success.. but last year, there were more ppl that came.. After that, I wanted to go home, but part of me wanted to go into the preparation room to help out cleaning up.. and partly, because last year I have to do the washing and all and now the current exco members have to do it.. Muahaha.. big laugh for them!.. and I saw my former-boss struggling to pack the porridge for peeps to bring back.. So I volunteered to help pack the porridge, and i didnt know I am quite talented in packing.. Three cheers for me! haha.. Brought back some food and good memories of today.. Had a lot of laughters and jokes.. Happy day for me..

Reached home at about 11 pm.. washed up and had a mug of milo.. overheard my sis talking to her boyfriend.."what if we could turn back time.."

hah.. In a sudden i was thinking abt my secondary school life.. what if i could turn back time.. cool huh.. and talk to the girl i had crush on.. a couple of them.. what if i have the maturity i have now, back then.. things would be quite amazing i guess.. as i was having those thoughts, I smiled to myself.. "Ni apesal senyum2 sendiri ni? dah gila eh?".. hehe.. i looked up and saw Mum standing at the door of my room.. haha.. that sucked.. "pegi tidur sana.."

There are somethings that I dun like abt myself now.. I have it in mind.. I wish I could change it.. I guess its just ego thats holding me back.. I will pray everyday to have that ego minimized.. And I havent been angry since the start of Ramadhan.. thats a positive thing i guess.. Although suckers are sucking up my blood.. but I am cool with it.. I learnt that not to have those small things to turn big.. I hope they'll learn..

So to sum up my day.. Its a happy ending with flashbacks of the past.. I am looking forward to the future and tomorrow.. I pray it'll be better..

signout-
Alfie

2005-10-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

OLA!!

First and foremost.. I want to apologise to Lyn for backing out in the last minute.. Sorry I cant hang out with you guys.. Honestly, I was with my parents,out on a family day, I wanted to go out with you and your friends but I dun have the guts to tell my dad I wanna go off early.. Its a family day, ermm.. I hope you understand.. And, I'll make it up to you..

So yeah, I went out with my family today.. Bought a pair of denim, a t-shirt.. Had break-fast at Beach Road.. Then went to Bugis..

Its pretty empty these few days.. I dont know whats missing.. And I am tired trying to figure it out.. I hope I'll find what it is one wonderful day..

And some one ask, does anyone ever read your blog?

Haha.. and i just say why?

No point blogging when nobody read, the person said..

I think the person is missing out the point of me blogging.. Its a place i want to express my thoughts and looking at em back on how wonderful my life has been..

As for others, i mean, who ever wants to know whats happening to me now and then, they could just hop in and read whatever i've posted..

Honestly, I wont be disappointed if no one is reading my posts.. At least I have 1 person reading it.. and that's me.. And if you are reading it right now.. that makes it 2.. haha..

On a happier note, I passed my exams.. Alhamdulillah..

To wonder about the future, I'll be in it..

signout-
Alfie

2005-10-07T05:08:00.000+08:00

Me and buddies at Esplanade..

2005-10-05T02:09:00.000+08:00

After 3 days of adventure.. I'll share wtih you every bit of detail i can..

Sunday,2nd october..

Early morning, i went to a soccer competition at NTU.. the worse thing is it was played on the field and the coach didnt tell us to bring boots.. damn.. so we just enjoyed and in the end, we last 2 and drew 2.. haha.. fair result..

In the afternoon, went for a soccer match at Jurong West Secondary.. played for one half as a left winger.. not a good game for me.. i didnt get much of the ball.. getting into space and shouting for the ball.. i can count how many times i touched the ball.. i wonder why they are prone to playing on the right side of the field.. shit..

Here comes the real story.. I head to the chalet with Shamin and Haziq.. took a cab.. and the news is that the TV at the chalet has no input.. so the xBox faris brought along, we cant play.. The receptionist said "We dont want people to use any external device.." WTF..
Reached there about 9 pm.. knocked on the door but no one answered.. damn.. this must be a prank bcuz they forgot to hide faizal's sandals that was outside.. hehe.. stooopid.. moments later when we wanted to check the backdoor, we could seee faris head trying to hide behind the curtain, trying to figure out where we were.. they failed.. haha! Wan,faris and faizal was already there.. Lucky i brought my laptop.. so we hit ourself some of the simpsons episode i have and the movie four brothers.. Faizal misread a tattoo on the actors back.. which is suppose to be "no mercy"..he said "be marry"..me and shamin laughed out loud.. haha..played cards and Shamin showed us some Magic tricks.. haha.. it wasnt a trick at all.. its just plain joke.. damn it was funny.. so we slept abt 3 am..

Monday 3rd October..

Woke up at 2.30pm, like guys usually do, bathed and head to the McDonalds to have lunch.. I bought Salonpas, my shoulder were aching due to sharing of the bed.. it was painful man..
After lunch, we rented 6 bikes till next day.. for just $10 bucks.. cheap huh.. we cycled right to the end of the bicycle path where we could see Changi Airport.. Head back and we changed and stuffm the played soccer at the beach.. we drew a mini-soccer pitch.. haha.. and played soccer 3 on 3.. had total fun when after that we played NFL.. I just wanna take down Haziq and Faris.. hehe.. had a few cuts and scratches due to the sand.. but its worth it.. We bought Ramly burger and some instant noodle for dinner.. I ate a bit of the Mee Goreng my mum cooked..but it was cold though bcuz we put it in the fridge.. what do i care.. just eat em.. We rest then cycled again to the opposite end.. We could see lightning but there was no rain.. We reached to this dark end, i was leading the group.. I suddenly turn and wanted to head back.. bcuz i think the rain is gonna come and its dark..very dark.. lightning grew more frequent.. we RACED back to the 7 Eleven as it was every man for himself..haha.. and i bought another ramly burger.. hungry man.. we settled back to the chalet.. watched the longest yard.. after that Charlie and Chocolate factory.. I fell asleep.. as i watched them already..

SUDDENLY, while zul and haziq were talking on the phone.. CLIMAX OF THE CHALET.. they came in and woke me up and told me that there was a couple next door making F***ing love.. I thought it was a bloody joke.. but what the hell.. it was true.. We could hear the woman "moaning".. we laughed like hell.. seriously man.. it was loud.. we could hear her voice loud and clear.. she is really enjoying it man.. HAHAHA!! and yeah, we were excited.. cuz its our first time listening to a woman moan in action.. we wanted to peep, but damn risky.. so we just sat ard and listen to her.. haha.. was abt 30 mins.. Zul heard their conversation..in chinese.. haha..damn.. What would you do or react if u know ppl next door are having sex.. damn man.. its like very unexpected.. Simply couldnt believe it.. then i talked on the phone for awhile..

after that, we went out cycling.. planning to head to Changi Village.. so we head to the end of the bicycle path.. but we have to cross ECP road.. it was damn hell of a long road.. just straight road.. there were lightning but we just head on.. we cycled and talk..just to make the trip feel short.. but it didnt work.. its like never ending.. till this point where we were at CAAS.. we took 5.. to rest our asses.. the seats were hard.. before even 5 mins were up.. we could feel drops of rain.. so we quickly get on our bikes and head back.. yes, the same route.. as soon as we were at ECP road.. the rain poured heavily.. lucky i wore my hood sweater..pity Faris, he just had short pants and t-shirt.. we ride at a steady pace.. but it was damn tiring..feel like giving up.. but we cant.. the rain is on top of our heads.. so we just head on.. we were so drenched.. all i can think abt was our safety and my handphone.. i dun want it to be spoilt.. it was abt 5 am already when we reach our first pit stop under a shelter.. the way we walked were like babboons with red butt.. damn painful.. we reached back at the chalet at abt 6 am.. went to sleep while listening to some songs played on my laptop..

Tuesday 4th October..

i woke up at 10.20 am.. packed those lil bit things left as i have packed the night before.. and we head home in a cab..

reached home at noon.. As I was standing at the door, i had a flashback of the 3 days we had at the chalet.. the share of laughter with buddies watching simpsons, each other's stupidity, jokes.. and the fun.. I nvr thought something like that would have happened.. I am thankful to God for keeping us safe there and the ease..

glad to be back.. saw my mum cooking.. I just smiled and enter..

2005-09-29T04:59:00.000+08:00

Watched Liverpool Vs Chelsea.. not an exciting "big" match like what i've expected.. but nvm.. both did try to win and try not to concede at the same time.. and the result is like what i've seen in that match..

Had training earlier today.. and I think.. I wont be playing soccer for maybe up to a week.. I have a very bad bruised ankle.. tried to avoid a sliding tackle.. just to side step and landed wrongly on the left foot.. Immediately went to ground.. It was okay after that.. But after i got home and freshened up.. then i realised that it has "blue black" mark around the ankle.. and now i can barely walk properly.. Damn..

I'm bored these few days, havent been logging in to MSN.. cuz my dad is using the net to do some of his work stuff.. So i only get the chance in the wee hours.. and all i can see is that few peeps are online.. I wanna to talk to all of them.. I havent been talking to any of my friends much lately..

Watching Real Madrid highlight match.. All their shot on target,goals and assists comes from David Beckham.. Yes, David Beckham.. Without the services of Beckham, Raul couldn't have scored.. Right Mr Haziq?

2005-09-28T15:28:00.000+08:00

Arsenal won.. great!!My holidays is much spent playing or watching soccer..Going for soccer training later.. I had a good training on Monday.. Looking to keep up the hardwork for later..

I feel like going out with someone.. perhaps with a girl..Its been sucha time i have gone out on a date..I'll see how.. heh!

Fasting month is coming.. I'll be doing nothing much than what is relevant..Maybe have break-fast with friends someday of the month..

I am facing a major problem as a teenage kid of today.. that's according to my friends..

Friend 1: "Kau dah beli baju raya?"
Friend 2: "Belum ah babe.. kau?"
Friend 1: "Dah.. Sama ngan girlfriend aku.."
Me: "Kau gi beli sama2 pe?"
Friend 1: "A'ah.. Hari tu gi geylang.."
Friend 2: "Cheh.. Planning nampak.. Kau puasa lum tahu brape hari.. dah plan raya.."
Friend 1: "hehe.. Biasa ah.. Kau babe.. dah beli baju raya?"
Me: "Belum ah.."
Friend 2: "Aku rasa aku pun beli sama colour ngan girlfriend aku.."
Friend 1: "Baik.. kau Yan?"
Me: "Aku mane ade matair.. Sorang ah aku nampaknya.."
Friend 2: "Sorang? tak gerek ah tu macam.."
Friend 1: "hehe.. entah kau.. problem ah kau.. gi lah cari partner for raya.."
Me: "Lahh.. nanti aku cari je sape2 single jadi partner aku.."
Friend 2: "haha.. siapa?"
Me: "Adelah satu dua kawan perempuan aku yang single.. aku ajak je.."
Friend 1 : "Kau berbual real ah babe.. Feeling dia lain tau kalau kau ngan girlfriend.."
Friend 2 : "Betul tu.. betul tu.. Baru ada makna.."
Friend 1 : "Sampai bila kau nak membujang? kau dah nak 18 belum ade matair lagi.."
Me : "hehe.. aiseyman.. rilek ah babe.."
Friend 2: "Problem besar siot kau.. Make sure kau raya ade partner.."
Me : "haha okaylah.. bus aku pun dah dtg.. Selamat!"

Hah! Gave a thought about it.. but the rest is a secret for me and my mind.. Everyday being pressured by friends.. haha..
I'll see what happens..
Have a nice day!
signout-Alfie

2005-09-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Finally.. Exams are all over.. and enjoying my holidays pretty much..

Exams were tough but with help of some friends in school..hopefully I can pull myself thru.. Have been last minute revision.. it works for me.. I just cant put my self to revision mode during the study break.. hehe.. Holidays = Enjoyment..

Msn-ing Miss Yusrina Vixen (hehe) now..and she told me to update.. hehe.. She's surfing the net at this wee hour and I hope not to the wrong websites like curious young boys always do.. hehehe..

Farah also have been having insomnia lately.. pity her.. Have better sleep okay Farah.. U can be the bridesmaid when I am getting married to my guitar..

So.. My life has been a bit more calm and steady.. Hoping to be back to action for school's soccer training and looking forward to the chalet gathering with the YISS boys.. Its gonna be awesome.. Shamin will be forced to sleep just wearing his underwear outside the chalet..hehe.. that's what the birthday boy deserves..although its belated..

Went to MSS retreat at Aloha Loyang earlier today.. Ate lotsa food and played some games and all.. they forced me to stay overnite.. but nahh.. I want to have my beautiful sleep on my home bed.. I didnt bring my stuff to stay there either.. So, what I am gonna do later today is..erm.. I am still deciding to go cut my hair or not.. and maybe head to the Gym.. with Zulkhairy.. i'll see how..

Those taggers are silent these few days after a series of hatred tags towards me.. to say, I was enjoying their critics as my daily entertainment.. but there arent any lately.. hhmmm.. I wonder.. And thanks to my beloved friends who have been against the taggers.. hehe.. now i know who my friends are..

I have nothing much to say actually.. hehe.. at this hour.. my brain is drying up..

Have a nice day..

signout-
Alfie

2005-09-17T16:22:00.000+08:00

haha.. hello!

Lyn.. that isn't me lah obviously..

I am not interested in the battle of bands.. Neither am i interested to be a matrep.. and 'things to do before the end'.. i find it lame too.. heh.. i'll just let it be there..

haha.. my favourite songs are there because i like them.. I dont see the need for it to be updated.. this is getting more exciting ah my tagboard..

I won't be tagging for now peeps.. but i wont remove my tagboard though.. I want to leave it there for my daily entertainment by ppl who are interested to know about my life..

have a nice day taggers..

signout-
Alfie

2005-09-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

Oh well! What do we have here.. haha.. More fans than expected..

C'mon.. Isn't it OBVIOUS..

Go and find other things to do than attempting to offend me.. You suck at it..

2005-09-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

Wooohh.. look at my tagboard.. Its tagged by ppl i've never heard of.. Who is Fairuz? Sharon? Brandon? DROGBA?! jojo?

I havent been criticised this much for ages! haha! and even I dun usually get a lot of people tagging my tagboard.. thanks for visiting my blog..

Thanks for those comments.. I believe I know where I stand in my own life and to those ppl whom I mentioned above, why are you so bothered about me? I dun understand..

What I write here and what I post up, its just my say.. no point arguing with you ppl..

Perhaps, now I know why some peeps dun put tagboard in their blog.. hehe..

But nvm, I leave those posts for others to read.. Its something that hasnt happened to me.. Its sumthing new..

Take care and have a nice day..

Signout-
Alfie

2005-09-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

Back from soccer training.. Its like the most happening soccer training ah.. Although its raining, i was all over the pitch ah I think.. I guess I play better if I have watched Arsenal lost a recent match.. I want to seek vengeance thru soccer.. Scored one during training and assist twice.. not bad huh.. haha.. Building up my stamina for Beep Test on the Monday, week after next..

Slept late last nite.. talked to Lyn till 4 am.. At least I have some one to blame for my lack of sleep.. Nyahahah!!! kidding2..

I have exams tomorrow.. NEED TO STUDY!! After writing this entry maybe..

I went to a wedding invitation before training.. The food is just okay, but I just love going to wedding ceremony.. haha.. Only some ppl know why..

Its amazing how much I love the song "Everything will be alright- The Killers".. The saddest emo-est song I have ever listened to.. It plays a part of my life.. and it has my favourite phrase - Everything will be alright.. Cool huh..

Planning to have a gathering with the secondary school mates after the exams.. or chalet maybe.. maybe before Ramadhan.. I cant wait for the fasting month.. I love fasting..

Wish me luck for my exams!!

Signout-
Alfie

2005-09-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

First and foremost.. I want to publicly apologise for not wishing Lyn happy birthday.. Happy Belated Birthday Lyn!! I truly admit i forgot abt it.. no point making excuses.. I am having exams lately.. Been quite worked up with studying and revising.. And today is Wardah's birthday.. I almost forgot her birthday too.. Happy Birthday Wardah!!

Went to Esplanade today to watch a gig.. The Marilyns & Lucy in the Loo.. They were great.. POWER POP... haha..

On they way home, took 106, rejected to listen to my friend's mp3...I looked out of the bus window.. I thought of what's going to happen to me in the coming time.. I tried to find numerous reasons to think that my Life is full.. but i guess not.. but i can find reasons why i shouldnt whine abt my life.. I have a perfect family.. I have 4 great buddies.. God has given me enough to live.. and I am still in school striving for a better future.. But honestly, I miss being loved by some one.. I miss some one that i can confide to anytime.. I miss having a girlfriend.. I have to be honest abt this.. However, I am not desperate.. Seriously... Maybe I am having my lonely blues at a bad time..

So here I am now writing this entry, hoping everyone to read this.. I am very thankful that I have met you peeps.. and although I havent been catching up with some of you.. Always remember that I'll find any lil bit of time to talk to you.. Please forgive me.. Be happy always my friends..

Signout-
Sincere Alfie

2005-08-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

I have been listening to these totally AWESOME songs:

Straightjacket feeling - The All American Rejects
It ends tonight - The All American Rejects
Everything will be alright - The Killers
The best I ever had - Vertical Horizon

Totally awesome..

2005-08-30T02:23:00.000+08:00

IT"S BLOODY ME AGAIN!!

Woooww.. such a long time since my last entry.. sorry ah.. I am a busy man.. haha..

So.. my beep test was less than satisfaction to my coach's standard that is 12.5.. i just managed to run up to level 11.7.. but it was kinda unexpected for me to reach that level.. Wan likes to call me "SM" as it stands for slow-mo.. he thinks i run that slow that he kept on saying 100 m/hr.. As i am not a hot-headed freak.. I just laughed it off and just makes other think whatever they want about me.. I dun really bother as long as I know and set my own standards..

Training has been much of a intense as the time of selection is nearing.. Today, with my debut pair of boots, i was scolded 2 or 3 times for being static.. totally my fault.. but he talks to me more today than other days.. Good or bad sign? I hope its for the best.. Tuesday training, Wednesday training, Thursday friendly match.. It's gonna be tiring.. but I want to play for my team..

Friday I'll be heading to SP for a malay show.. I have no idea what is it about.. but being a proud cultural boy.. I want to attend as much Malay shows as possible.. Saturday and Sunday, I'll be busy with my cousin's weeding.. I'll be wearing a suit again!! woohoo!! hehe.. as there will be a dinner at a hotel.. It's standardise actually by my aunt..

Currently, nothing much is happening to my life.. As i have nothing to look forward to.. When i was a bit younger, I'll go out on a date, but now.. I have no one in mind to ask out on a date.. It's been such a time actually.. been months since I went out just me and "her"(i dont know who).. and just spend the whole day laughing and talking.. kinda miss those times.. Perhaps, I am yet to be 18, so I am still 17.. It's not like there's a need to rush.. I am still young right? haha.. plus, going out on a date to me is a special thing.. so just not who or anybody i'll just ask..

Weekends, have always been spent with my buddies.. it's like a routine every week.. haha.. end up playing cards and with Zul's "winning" team and 'tumpang gembira loser'.. haha.. So till next time..

Signout-
Alfie

2005-08-23T01:11:00.000+08:00

So, Ernie's chalet was okay.. I had much fun but with my buddies.. hehe.. esp Wan and Haziq.. Don't know how it went for Zul.. He is very much busy doing his routine.. nyehehe..

Sunday was normal, but the soccer match for my weekend team was canceled.. damn.. Went out with my family instead.. but funny ah.. Me, my younger bro and younger sis left my parents to do the shopping and we went off go buy food, drinks and walked around the IMM.. and there was this guy who tried too hard to impress a girl selling malay food.. his stance was like "stomache in, chest out" but then he is fat and short.. so i imitated his stance.. my younger siblings laughed.. I was standing behind him.. I was busy laughing.. he turned and looked at me.. With nothing left in my head, me and my siblings quickly ran off while laughing.. haha.. we stopped at the lift and continued laughing.. So much fun..I treat my younger sibs to Old Chang Kee.. then mum called, we went home..

Just in time to watch my team's soccer match..Chelsea vs Arsenal.. I really think Hleb and Ljungberg was great.. not Henry, Fabregas and Senderos.. Lucky goal from Drogba went on till the final whistle.. I just feel like writing to Wenger to take off the Captain's Armband and give it to Toure.. Henry tries too hard to impress others as a captain.. that he totally forgot his job is to score goals..

So there goes my weekend, lack of rest.. and slept late for the night.. hehe.. Dun feel so bad.. It was pretty enjoying talking in msn..

I ceased fire,
Putting my weapon away for a moment..
Lay back to see what happens next..
Just to see others miserably attempt,
I looked at the sky for guidance,
The path of faith..
Patience I need to carry on..
I just need a breath of fresh air,
to lighten up the heavy darkness..
I used all of my ammo,
I cant seem to know how i missed,
Why havent it hit any target..
I just need three,
the last one seems impossible..
but there will be the third..
I will find..
till the third is found,
Why am I alone?

--The last good man standing,
--But misunderstood..
--I have to be sorry for you..

2005-08-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

;-)

2005-08-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Smiling.. with new haircut..

2005-08-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

Not smiling.. hehe..

today

2005-08-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

The previous weekend was a tiring one.. Good Saturday, not so Good Sunday.. haha..

I am darker now bcuz of the sun on Saturday.. Played a 7-a-side soccer comp.. formed a pretty good team of Me,zul,wan, hafiz, shamin, Jamadil, my cousin Qayyum,his friend,last minute goalkeeper Idris.. our actual goalkeeper is Firman, but he "buih" at the morning of the actual day.. what to do.. he have something up so wont be able to play.. I have to admit my team is the most talented team that day just without luck.. played total of 5 matches.. 1st match, won 1-0, 2nd match,drew 1-1, 3rd match, drew 2-2.. the 3rd match was the most frustrating.. Wan didnt have a good rest before the day and slipped up with one of his worst performance.. I got that damn equaliser!! yeah!! but there is this bloody F-ing player.. i dribbled the ball pass him..he turned and touched my butt.. WTF.. luckily it was Zul's friend.. I dont know he was joking or not.. but for me..in football.. there's no joke man.. dont mess ard with me.. i turned..wanted to take a whack on his face.. but just gave him a warning.. "Tangan Jaga ah.. Gua tumbuk lu punya muka.." in an angry tone.. and there is this Mat, wore a cap.. act proffesional.. gave him a good tackle, won the ball.. passed it to my friend, he came up to me face to face.. gave him a hard look on his bloody face.. he walked away.. I was prepared to have a fight.. using his brains, he backed off.. but I am not much of a fighter either.. i mean.. i dont like fighting.. God is watching.. what is there to prove to Him..... back to the day.. we had to take penalties to decide who goes to the next round.. and I didnt miss mine.. i took it with ease.. hehe.. cheh! and 4th match was the best one.. but to sheer disappointment and frustration..we couldn't score.. our passing were good, our movement and skills.. Fantastic!.. but the opponent defended well as a team..and i mean as a team.. 5 of their players crowd their goalpost to prevent us from scoring.. and they didnt even have one shot at our goalkeeper.. went to penalties.. damn.. this time.. with my frustration at my foot..i rammed the ball straight, only to hit the goalkeeper's stomache.. i was so disappointed with myself.. i could have done better for my team.. really.. so we had to play for the 3rd and 4th placing.. and thats the 5th match.. we cruised through with a 3-0 win.. so we won the 3rd place.. But we could have been the champion.. Oh man.. How will it feel if I was a champion 2 weeks in a row.. cool huh.. I am just proud of my team..

Okay lets move on to Sunday.. played for my weekend club, NVFC.. its only the 2nd time i got to play a full match.. and as a stopper in a 3-5-2 formation.. my job is to protect the 3 defenders.. i think i did not do that well.. they had 3 goals in the first half.. i think its bcuz of the inexperience young central midfielder.. we had a better 2nd half.. getting back 2 goals.. and you know what.. i got my FIRST EVER yellowcard in my soccer career..hehehe.. but i was damn disappointed.. i am a true loyal player to Sportsmanship.. I made a hard tackle from the side and brought down the dashing player.. I had to.. if not he will be clear to goal.. its for the team.. so.. we loss the match.. and i could have played better..

In total, i picked up a bruised shin, twisted ankle and scratches on my hip from sliding.. hehe..

Good thing is ARSENAL won newcastle 2-0.. best! Thierry Henry and Robin Van Persie.. cool!

What am i going to do this weekend.. well, Saturday morning.. I have soccer match.. After that I am going to a show at MI.. after that to Ernie's chalet.. well.. i wonder what to get for Ernie for her birthday.. hehe.. she's expecting something i suppose.. haha.. Mayb ei'll get it on Friday.. hehehe..

My current favourite band is Coldplay.. I will kinda sway my body from left to right when i listen to their songs.. "In my place, the scientist, fix you..and more".. is swaying from left to right considered dancing? haha.. i hope not.. i hope its just grooving to the music.. hehe..

I like Sha's and Syaz's testimonial they gave me on friendster.. Long time no see them.. and Farah's also.. hehe...

Take care everybody, have a nice day!

CHamPION!!

2005-08-12T12:10:00.000+08:00

Well, i've entered a soccer 7-a-side tournament on the 6th of august.. with my school soccer team-mates.. Went there like other comps.. didnt expect much out of the competition.. and guess what.. My team is the Champion after a hard fought battle in the Finals with the ICS.. now i know how it feels to be a champion and the respect we get from others for being the champion.. haha.. brought home my first soccer cup.. (that tells how bad i am in soccer).. and its a gold.. and the team received $200 for being the winner and i got my $20 share, cuz there were 10 players in the team..

In fact, I am having fever right now while typing this thing.. my nose is leaking and i have a slight headache.. but i have to write this though.. Some ppl complaining why i havent updated much lately..hehehehe.. sorry ya.. didnt know there are ppl who bothers to read this boring blog.. and Sha promised not to call me l-----boy..but she still does.. promise already know.. haha.. and Mira is having her craze for Antonio Barraga.. haha.. funny lah she.. Finally, Tommy admits he is quitting the gay club.. hehe.. after seeing a bapok in orange.. hehehehe.. Went out with Farah for breakfast on wednesday.. haha.. discovered her dark secrets..haha. must tell everybody already.. She gave me a gift to cheer me up..wooooww.. damn nice you know.. haha.. and i forget to return her change after buying for her the food.. hehe..

Having soccer tournament again this saturday, organised by NPMSS.. try to win it again i think.. after the inspirational tournament.. hehe..

Life has been a bit of rushing for me this week, had a couple of sad and tiring times.. cursed maybe.. but without sadness, i won't know the meaning of feeling happy.. so bad times do happen ey.. the good thing is, i havent been cursing my luck much lately, eventhough its been tough.. but there are reasons in which things happen..

and plus, i havent been a good boy either.. making fun of others, to a lecturer with 60's hairstyle.. a girl with bandaged leg, a person who tried hard to make herself look pretty but just make it worse.. hehe..

Havent been in msn much lately, i hope i have the time..

I had my new haircut last week, the first time i like my hair after it has been cut.. Usually, it has been complains after complains.. hehe..

it will be abt 3 months to my bdae.. hehe.. (but i still cant watch LAND OF THE DEAD).. not fair ah.. hehe..

okay, till here.. update soon.. my nose is giving me a hard time.. haha.. take care everybody!!

INDIE ROCK AND ROLL

2005-08-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

Helo!!!!!! Its been sucha time since i updated..

I am doing very well of course.. cam biase jugak..

Went to an uninvited chalet.. but it was fun.. Met Ernie and some other interesting ppl.. And we played some games created by the Demolition Squad.. Went home at 6.30 am..

This week isnt the best week.. cuz, to think of it, I can't control my anger like i usually do.. maybe I am just tired..

Maybe not a good week for the ppl who scolded me for no reasons.. So I'll just forgive and forget.. That would make things better..

What am i gonna do this weekend? hmmm..

And I can get drunk with emotions listening to "Everything will be alright" and "Glamourous Indie Rock and Roll" by the killers.. woohoo!!! damn drunk..

okay.. till here.. i'll update soon on more exciting boring things.. nyahaha.. take care peeps!

Today everybody!!

2005-07-21T20:08:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 6 a.m. and greeted myself "Good Morning" as usual..
Didn't expect anything bad later part of the day..

Going to brush my teeth, but out of toothpaste.. have to get it out of the drawer..
Going to take the bus to Bukit Batok, my concession pass have ended.. have to use coins..
Got to the interchange, bus 61 just passed.. have to wait another 10 mins or so..
but reached school..did some revision before the test.. thats a good point..
and so..
going home.. took 61..forgot abt my concession pass.. missed the bus and have to go to Shell and buy a drink..
Alight from the bus.. misjudged a step.. nearly tripped.. but its not that obvious.. hehe.. just act cool..
Reached home.. forgot abt The Simpsons at 6 bcuz of playing xBox.. damn..
and now i am writing this entry..
Hope nothing happens that much later..

but to think of it.. it makes my life exciting and i find it funny how it went..

What a week!

2005-07-20T21:04:00.000+08:00

This week is a bit relaxed and very settling down.. Have been at home most of the time studying and in msn.. chat and chat and chat.. haha.. Learning lots of things.. abt things in school and abt ppl.. Kinda fun.. well, my parents bought a new TV for my room.. and i use it most of the time playing xBox.. Mum bought my sis an mp3 player.. you should have seen the look on my sister's face when my mum was kidding that she changed her mind abt buying her the mp3.. I am experiencing a trouble sleeping at nite.. i can sleep at 3 am the earliest.. i will lie on the bed, play with my hp..trying to figure out how old i will be for my bdae to be on Sunday.. bcuz that day, i want to be King For A Day.. hehe.. hope you know what i mean.. I watched Sin city and A lot like love this week.. Both are great.. but i dont quite understand Sin City.. but it is damn violent and not for girls to watch..hehe.. A lot Like Love is a normal love story.. It just made me remembered, how ppl can be when they are in love.. Hope to go and chill out this weekend with the Demolition Squad.. till then, be happy everybody!

2005-07-18T00:53:00.000+08:00

Me and Hamdan and other poly frens.. at Seoul Garden.. best huh they blanje..

Rock Nvr DIE!!

2005-07-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

Went to baybeats for the 2nd day.. Met a lot of different humans there.. I mean, how did these ppl who loves rock music and wear those kinda style turn out to be so many.. Rock for real or just for the occassion?..i wonder.. but.. Today's songs were better than the songs.. Surreal was great!! and i met Marni just now.. hehe.. another suprise! Alone eh marni eh.. hehe.. so damn tired.. Overnite at esplanade the previous day.. haha.. damn fun.. The demolition squad.. Me, Wan, Zul, Faris..plus Isabel and Raihana.. only haziq didnt came along.. talked abt those secondary school days of mine and faris.. and what a nite for tommy huh.. nyahaha.. went home on the first bus.. i couldnt sleep.. thinking of something else.. really bothered me till i cant sleep..hehe.. update again soon.. gtg!

2005-07-13T02:33:00.000+08:00

Its me and my lovely sis at chevrons ballroom having the 40th Yusof Ishak Sec jubilation party..

These days..

2005-07-13T01:33:00.000+08:00

I've nothing much to talk about..nothing have happened much lately.. so for this post.. i will be talking abt my one week event..

Home
------
Well, not much changes take place in my house.. and since i am having my one week holidays.. standard wake up time is 11 am, bathe and after that have my late breakfast that is "oreo O's" cereals and hot tea.. do my bed.. then i'll be sitting at the lunch table..talk to mum while she's cooking.. have Dzuhur prayers.. either play xBox till Asar or do my revision for upcoming tests.. then 6pm- the simpsons, 6.30pm- drew carey show, 7pm dinner and Maghrib, 7.30- friends.. for Monday and Wednesday, having soccer training.. go home and my siblings will be at home but not my elder bro cuz he is in Brunei on his NS.. talk to my younger sibs and ask abt their day.. which always brings myself back to those days when i was a kid.. hehe.. as if i am that old.. but yeah.. its nice to hear them out.. then either i will do my revision after that go in msn.. have a chat with my childhood friend,Marni, best friend,Farah, best bud Zul and Haziq, Ngee Ann friends and friends.. after that is free time.. hehe.. These is what i usually do at home..

Soccer training
---------------
I just realise that i play better football when i am sad.. haha.. it just make me avenge the sorrows and anger.. for me angry = sad.. i am sad when i am angry.. hehe.. and Well, they will cut off some players and select only those who plays better.. so i am kinda worried and gave my all in every training sessions.. i always have trouble going down the stairs after training.. my leg feels like jelly..nyahaha.. made new friends in the team.. and finally, the captain knows my name.. hehe..

Buddies
--------
On the previous friday, the Demolition Squad made up of Me, Riduwan, Haziq and Zul.. stayed overnite till saturday morning.. It was so damn fun.. Should do it often.. played cards till 2.30am.. then went to the jungle trail.. damn it was very very dark and i love to walk in front with zul with the light from his camera phone.. yes ppl..we walk in the jungle with just lights from handphones.. cool huh.. and we just walked and talked and talked.. we end at abt 4 am.. we felt a bit sleepy.. bought food at Palawan beach and ate them at the southern most continent of Asia..across the bridge.. and talked abt some stuffs that only we know.. nyehehe.. at 6 am, we changed and went in the water.. we thought it was gonna be damn cold.. so we count to 3 and run together into the water.. but i wasnt that cold.. with those soggy damp ground underneath.. we quickly swam to the platform.. hehe.. and we built and empire of running water from the low tide underground water.. its the first time i see that beauty of nature.. went back at 8.30 am.. Fun day..

Coming weekends
------------------
I am off to the Baybeats 2005!! its gonna be all wicked there.. a lot of my friends gonna be there and sure its gonna be a cluster of thousands of humans there.. thought of going for all 3 days.. but i'll see abt that.. money issue and all.. hope to see you guys there..

Current favourite song
-----------------------
Everything will be alright - The Killers

damn.. this song is the hit of the occassion.. well since i am having my "blues" days.. this song tells abt my age of my growing personality.. if i have an A&W float rootbeer.. you'll see me 'drunk' and moving to the groove of the song.. I sing the song and water starts coming out of my eyes.. but i am not crying.. just that feeling.. i cant explain.. but yeah.. it got me down.. only my buddies seen me 'drunk' drinking A&W rootbeer.. hehe..

For the Record.. I am happy..